#whether this is truly how sora views her

[the-east-art]

What am I to you?

[ashxketchum]

Posting my last piece of writing from 2022. I actually spent the whole week writing this during my commute to work, but only got around to posting this now because well that's how it is with me these days.

A full Taiora oneshot being my last work for 2022 is really something...I don't know whether it means that this was all I could do for this ship and now it's time to move on, or that in 2023 I will be able to give it another chance. I can't be sure about either of these thoughts, but if you come across this on 31st then I hope you're able to enjoy a few minutes of your last day in 2022, and if you come across this on 1st then I hope it brightens up your first day of 2023!

Anyway, to get a full background on what's happening in Taichi and Sora's marriage, I recommend you read Chapters 8 and 16 of my Mimato fic Truly, Madly, Deeply (uploaded on both AO3 and FFN). I've turned off reblogs for this for obvious reasons, but if you still come across this fic somehow then I hope you enjoy the fluffy yet angsty and then slightly spicy at the end, domestic Taiora piece.

Word Count: 3096

-------- Bad Habits --------

Sora found herself on that bridge yet again that night.

The bridge looked like it always did, strangely out of place and dangerously frail. The flooring was made up of rusty wooden planks supported by railings made out of ropes as thin as silk threads. One step and she knew the threads would snap, taking down with them the whole length of the bridge and possibly even Sora. She’d been coming here enough times to know that that was what was supposed to happen though, she knew that she had to take that step, take that fall into the dark abyss of nothingness below her. All she didn’t know was when she would finally be free from this repetitive task and when she would finally be able to experience a peaceful, dreamless sleep once again.

She wished that she understood her subconscious well enough to understand what it was trying to convey to her. But every time she stood on the edge of this bridge, an intense feeling of helplessness engulfed her, one that made her want to give up on trying. What was the point in trying to run away, in trying to close her eyes and will herself to wake up, in trying to make sense of what was happening to her, when all she needed to do was take one step forward and then another, and then just watch as the old wood snapped, the brittle threads tore apart under her weight and the endless fall began.

This is why Sora took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stepped onto the bridge. A few careful steps later, she heard the ominous creaking of the wood but she kept going forward. The rest of the bridge was always shrouded in a white mist, so despite coming here every other night, she still had no idea what lay on the other side. And she knew that she’d never find out as well when the bridge gave in all around her. Her body turned and even as she attempted to close her eyes to avoid coming face to face with the darkness all around her, they stayed open as if something was forcefully stretching them.

The fall was what she hated the most, the never-ending emptiness scared her more than hitting whatever lay at the bottom of the cliff, but alas her body never met that fate. She was always just a lump of flailing limbs and wide eyes drifting further down, down, down…

Sora woke in her bed, gasping for air and sweating profusely as she kept a hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her rapid heartbeat. She swallowed big gulps of air a few times before her eyes got used to the dark and the view of her bedroom registered itself in her mind. With a free hand, she reached out and felt the space next to her on the bed, which was empty and showed no signs of being slept in, making a cold shiver run down her spine. For the next few minutes, Sora just sat in her bed, taking deep breaths and reassuring herself that as always, it was just a dream.

Once her heart had calmed, she searched on her bedside table for something she could take that would soothe her nerves more definitely, but it seemed like she must have slept off in a rush, without bothering to even keep a bottle of water ready for moments exactly like these. With a dejected reluctance, she got out of bed and decided to head to the kitchen with the intention to make herself a nice cup of chamomile tea. On her way, she passed by their study and noticed that the door was slightly ajar, with a slither of light peeping out from under it.

Sora pushed the door just an inch further to take a look inside, finding her husband still suited up in work clothes as he attended an online meeting. Not wanting to disturb him, Sora pulled back, catching only a glimpse of Taichi attempting to speak a mixture of English and Italian into his laptop which brought a small smile to her face and may have worked better in soothing her than any tea could. His passion to learn as many languages as he could to connect with each of his global counterparts was something that always warmed Sora’s heart.

While in the kitchen, she tried to move as quietly as possible. Not just because she didn’t want Taichi’s meeting to get disturbed, but also because she didn’t want him to know that she was awake. It would be difficult for her to hide the reason behind why she was up to Taichi and she didn’t want to make him worry right after he had spent an entire day working. However, she had only just poured the water into a mug and dipped a teabag into it when two arms wrapped themselves around her waist tightly. When Taichi rested his chin on her shoulder, she realised that the chill she had felt after waking up finally subsided.

“Hey.” He whispered lazily into her ear.

“Hi, how was the meeting?” She asked, hoping that the two would stay like this so it’d be easier for her to keep the truth from Taichi.

“All good.” He planted a light peck against her cheek, a sign of him being in a good mood.

Sora placed her palm on his cheek and stroked it gently, Taichi humming happily in response. She hoped that she could move past her bad dream and avoid having to explain it to Taichi, by keeping the affection between them flowing and not letting her husband have any time to think about why she was in the kitchen at such an odd hour.

“What’s wrong with you though, why are you up?”

She bit her tongue to keep herself from groaning out loud, of course trying to get Taichi to follow a plan had never worked in her favour.

“I just…” Sora tried to come up with a lie, her eyes darting first towards the mug in her hand and then around the kitchen, but nothing sprang to her already exhausted mind.

“The bridge dream again?”

She’d stalled for too long, giving him the chance he needed to read her mind like he always did.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Taichi pulled himself back, grasping tightly onto her waist so he could turn her around to face him. His brown eyes were fixed intently on her and Sora found herself squirming uncomfortably under his gaze, why couldn’t anything tonight go her way? It was difficult enough to recover from the impact of the dream every now and then, but it was much worse when she had to narrate the experience to Taichi and watch his face fall as he realised that there wasn’t much he could do to help her with this.

“Having the same bad dream once or twice I can understand, but this has been going on for a while now…” Taichi said, a frown almost appearing on his face before he shook his head and looked at her with a softer shine in his eyes, “And I hate to ask you this, but are you sure there isn’t something you want to talk to me about?”

“Taichi, it’s not like that!” Sora responded quickly, she didn’t want him to think that she was keeping secrets from him, but at the same time, she didn’t know if she had it in her to face the truth that lay buried deep inside her heart, let alone share it with Taichi. She tried to manage a feeble smile and added, “It’s just a phase, I’m sure of it. It’ll go away sooner or later.”

“Oh Sora, you haven’t changed at all.” This time Taichi didn’t hold himself back and rolled his eyes at her words, folding his arms across his chest defensively as he shot a questioning look in her direction.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sora put down the mug on the countertop that she was now leaning against. She could sense the frustration build up inside Taichi and as much as she wanted to avoid an argument, she knew there was no turning back now.

“It’s always one step forward, two steps backwards with you.” He scoffed at her, eyes turning steely for a moment as he fought off a scowl.

Sora understood that the effects of a long day were catching up to him and coupled with how helpless he felt over not being able to help her so far, Taichi was feeling more furious than usual. But even so, his words hurt.

“When will you understand that your problems have never inconvenienced me, that I’ve never seen your feelings as a nuisance-”

His voice got higher with every word and Sora flinched at the tone of it. She wanted to interrupt him to tell him that he needed to keep it down before their kids woke up, but he surprised her by suddenly moving closer to her again and cupping her face in his hands. When she met his eyes now, she realised that she had mistaken the steely look for anger from afar when it was actually a look full of regret. Regret over not being able to be there for her in the same way she was there for him, regret over not being able to understand her problems in the same way that she did for him, regret over not being able to help the person he loved when she needed it the most.

“So tell me.” He pleaded softly, his voice shaking.

It was as if the ocean of sorrow she had been suppressing inside of her rose to the shore at the sight of Taichi begging her to allow him to care for her, to love her. Everything that she had been trying to hide from, trying to forget about now appeared in front of her, crystal clear.

“Tell me what is bothering you so much that your brain’s been telling you to jump off a fucking bridge.”

“I…I just…” A tear slowly rolled down Sora’s cheek, and then another one joined it. She knew she had to say what she was feeling out loud, but she was still afraid of putting the truth out in the word because then there would be no way to avoid who she was becoming, or rather had already become.

But how could she, at the same time, deny it to Taichi any longer? How could she bear to keep him in the dark after the vulnerability he had just shown her?

“Sometimes I forget myself,” Sora said as Taichi wiped the tears off her face. She cast her gaze towards their feet as she continued, “I don’t know how to put this without sounding like a terrible mother or wife-“

“It’s impossible for you to sound like either of those because you’re not even in the ballpark, so go on.” Taichi shook his head at her doubting words and rested his forehead against her, filling her with the courage she needed to continue.

“I would like to have a day where I’m not-” Sora paused and took a deep breath, somehow making herself look up so she could meet Taichi’s eyes, “-the mascot of the Ikebana world, where I’m not the perfect wife of a global ambassador, where I’m not the mother of two boys who can’t seem to stay away from trouble.” She hadn’t realised how fast her heart was beating or how hard she was shaking until Taichi put her hands on her shoulders and steadied her.

“I would like to have a day where I’m just…Sora.”

Silence followed her statement and with Taichi’s face pressed so close to hers she had no idea what exactly was going on in his head. She wanted to take back her words the minute she said them out loud, knowing that it wasn’t fair to Taichi. It’s not like he had intentionally chosen this profession to spite her, or that their boys had taken after his younger self more than they had expected him to, Sora knew that no one was to blame for how her life had turned out but she still couldn’t help wanting to take a break, a minute for herself where she could breathe freely.

“Let me take the boys with me on the Euro visit next month-”

“Taichi, that’s a work thing...I can’t let you do that!”

She was taken aback by the sincerity in her husband’s voice. He was the kind of guy who liked to keep his work life and private life separated at all costs. Unless it was required by the kind of project or event he was a part of, he made sure that Sora and the boys would not need to appear with him in the public eye as much as he could. Which is why all their family trips happened when he was on vacation from work, something that didn’t happen often in itself, so for Taichi to suggest travelling with the boys on his own was a much bigger deal than it sounded.

“I’ll ask my assistant to extend the trip by a few days, there’s a soccer match I’ve been meaning to watch anyway.” Taichi patted her head before pulling back and stretching his arms above his head, already convinced that the problem had been solved, “I’ll get a car assigned to them, Tsubasa’s sensible to enough to plan a good itinerary for the two of them. Koushiro’s joining the meeting too now so Hikari’s tagging along with him, she can spend time with the boys while we’re working.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to trouble Hikari chan and everyone else like that.”

“Why not? We trouble you all the time.”

“Yes...wait, no!”

Sora could barely process that she’d told Taichi her darkest truth and not only had he accepted it, but he’d also moved on to finding a solution for her like it was the most natural thing to do.

“I’m not troubled by your requests, that’s not what I meant!” She clarified, ears turning red over how she’d slipped up in the confusion of not being able to understand how everything was happening so fast, “Taichi, stop grinning!” She gritted her teeth as Taichi continued to stare down at her with a full grin covering his face, “Hikari chan probably has plans of her own and then watching the boys on top of that, I don’t know how I feel about that…”

“Geez Sor, it’s almost as if Hikari doesn’t have a professional qualification for looking after kids.”

“That…that’s not the point.” Sora retorted, racking her brain to try and find another problem with Taichi’s suggestion but there was no one else who could read her mind faster than Taichi.

“Yeah, the point is, you refuse to let us help you in the same way that you help us.”

There was nothing Sora could say to that, it was the truth after all. She’d never ask for help until she was driven completely against a corner, which is what life had felt like lately so would it really be too bad if she decided to take Taichi up on his offer?

“Are you sure?” She asked cautiously, giving him the chance to still think his offer over and go back on his words without feeling guilty.

“Yes.” Taichi nodded, and then with a chuckle added, “I’ll even ask Mimi chan to make sure you do end up taking some time off from work and just laze around the house the entire time we’re gone.”

“You’d really do all of this for me?”

It was a simple question, or so Sora thought but Taichi’s eyes widened at her statement and once again he closed the distance between them, taking her face into his hands he looked directly into her eyes, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Sora, I’d move mountains for you.”

She wanted to tell him how grateful she was for him, but Taichi kissed her before a single word left her mouth. So she just embraced him with the hope that she could convey her feelings instead through her lips as they grazed over his fervently. Taichi broke apart only to lay a trail of kisses all across her cheeks, then her chin and then finally her neck, making it impossible for Sora to hold back a whimper.

“What was that about a soccer match?” She asked, slightly breathless, remembering suddenly what Taichi had said a few minutes ago when his fingers traced the outline of the spaghetti straps of her nightdress.

“Box seats for AC Milan vs Inter Milan baby!” Taichi stopped kissing her neck and raised his head to grin proudly at her.

“Wow, 20 years of marriage and you’ve never once gotten me box seats for a soccer match but the one time I ask for time to myself…unbelievably mean Taichi. I hate you.” Sora smiled at him, putting her palms against his chest as she pretended to push him away.

“But you love me.”

“I really do.”

And then Taichi was kissing her again, letting his hand roam freely across her body before he found the hem of her nightdress and pushed it up to reveal her bare thighs.

“But make sure to take time out for something Tsu-kun wants to do too,” Sora murmured, her breath hitching as she felt Taichi’s hands slide in between her legs, with some difficulty she managed to add, “or else he’ll mope about you favouring Sho.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And don’t let Sho hold his passport for even a second, he will lose it instantly-“

“Sora is this really what you want to talk about right now?” Taichi paused and looked at her with a hint of annoyance.

“Sorry,” Sora smiled sheepishly under his gaze, “A bad habit, I suppose.”

“I have a few bad habits of my own I’d like to discuss with you.” Taichi smirked at her as he took her hands in his, guiding her out of the kitchen and towards their bedroom.

“Why do I have a feeling these habits of yours don’t involve a lot of talking?” Sora cooed playfully in his ear as the bedroom door locked shut behind them and the two stumbled happily into their bed, energetic and entangled.

This time when Sora slept, surrounded by Taichi’s arms, there were no eerie bridges and dark abysses in her dreams, only a bright sun and clear skies.

x

[valorxdrive]

❝ i’ll be keeping my eye on you. ❞ c:

Somehow these words never stopped holding a sweet sentiment, normally used by companions who found themselves bringing security with their gaze.

Just like Makima.

...Right?

Rare is the feeling that he ever actively tried putting a lens on the way he's being watched. Where those spirals that bordered on hypnotic rings didn't move, but some part of his soul swore they did, as if there was a strange, acidic friction that tried to actively work against him letting his heart bring higher definition to this link that settles between them. Despite how much it'd be very, very welcomed in this world that finds itself victimized by the boundless gluttonous of devils.

And not just by their powers that bordered to conceptual and heights of stellar destruction, but by elements of humanity that danced in depravity alongside them. As one of the newest 'Honorary' recruits to being a devil hunter, Sora couldn't bother to give it much thought while in the process. Makima's guidance on the matter have certainly led him to what could easily be considered monstrosities, lethal powers that needed to be stopped unless blood was spilled.

So what in the hell was this feeling!? It always found itself roaming during the dreary aftermaths, where little hope was salvaged. In this case, here they remain in territory being melted away from a devil's influence, allowing hellish looking wreckage to distort back to normalcy, letting it be metallic ruins burned from the forces of light and the crushing truths of high strength and physics.

A price felt like it was always being made.

"Heh.. Pretty high faith at work again?" The words hardly hold the usual pomp a better day would drag in. As they remain by a shattered elevator, gouged sections of skyscraper, alongside a rainy backdrop allowing them to drink in the water laden air that barely spritz onto the nearly destroyed walkway they remain upon.

Even now, that sensation of her eyes being focused, it never leaves him. Whether it was her means of expressing joy. Whether it was her method of exacting professionalism by her banner, Sora felt as if he'd never truly know.

The Keyblade's power has once more shown heights that felt more like a gambit than the actual fight. Sora's ability to manipulate time, to even deal with matters of space instantaneously moving, to even offsetting a void in the making. Compared to their first meeting where modest potential could handle the job.

Similar to these droplets, the truth finds itself joyously cascading, never enjoying to hide to begin with.

Within that same moment, his eyes find their focus, daring to peer in that bottomless brightness with sky lit irises. The mystical weapon settled in the hero's firm grip begins to fade, dispelling contently in motes of light that begin to dance to the heavens.

"...I think you're missing a better view if a lot of that attention is concentrated on me. Don't you think?"

Isn't the condition of this city finding better days supposed to remain the primary goal? As highly heartfelt he likes to perceive that very notion.

Sora has come to realize that the people within this job dance to a certain insanity. Now what exactly could that say about him?

@makimavellic

[chibi-mushroom]

So I’m trying something for rikunami week. Those of you who are familiar how I write them, I generally do it from Riku’s perspective. This time around, I’m planning on doing vignettes in the timeline from Namine’s point of view. Here’s day one!

Namine looked down at her hands. She was holding a long chain of precious memories that only she could see. To anyone else, she might look like she was concentrating hard on something, or somewhere else in her mind entirely. These chains were made of precious moments growing up, tears and laughter and were precious lies. All of them felt so wrong and yet so right to the lonely girl surrounded by white. Riku’s memories were colorful. Not in the way that Sora’s were, as their experiences had colored their worlds differently. But it was beautiful to her, and his outlook kept the world from being too close to the light and blinding her.

While in the middle of removing every last piece of evidence of Kairi, Namine had watched Sora’s life unfold. What a charming and beautiful life he led; it partly made her ache for something like it- anything. It was worlds apart from the white room she had been trapped in from the time of her birth. He had a loving pair of parents and wonderful friends even if he didn’t always do well in school.

Among Sora’s memories came a whole lifetime of understanding Riku. At first she saw him the same way Sora had; as a big brother who had the capability to always keep her safe, should she be deemed important enough to him. For a moment she imagined what it might be like if she were to truly be important to him as much as Kairi was- not just in the forced way she was doing now. But then some sort of an odd feeling washed over her and she swallowed it down. She was a nobody. It’s not that feelings weren’t permitted. It was more that they weren’t possible…right?

Right. She was supposed to be removing the crush he had on Kairi from the copy of his heart as well. Elevating herself to the mysterious girl who made a promise and then went away. It was wrong, she knew it. But somewhere deep inside there came some sort of satisfaction knowing that even though she was doomed to fade away, she could be loved for just one glimmering moment. So she went back and did to Riku exactly what she had done to Sora, except he was permitted to remember Kairi as a friend.

So Namine began to look through his memories, allowing herself a chance to enjoy the sights as she worked. This replica they were making would be exactly like the real Riku, and there would be no secret he could keep from her. There was nothing he knew that she wouldn’t if they were ever to meet up. Perhaps it was wrong. But he wasn’t a prince and she wasn’t a princess. He wouldn’t save her from her tower because that was Sora’s job…whether he liked the end results or not.

She saw him make a promise to a handsome stranger and found herself holding out her hand as well; almost as if she were taking part in the promise to never speak of what had happened. Though she wasn’t sure of what had just transpired, the whole of the moment felt sacred and she treated it as such.

Some of her favorite memories were of the nights when Sora, Kairi and Riku snuck out of their houses and headed over to the play island. They’d sit and watch the stars and fall asleep cuddled up with each other until Riku woke them up and guided them home. He always had been like that, even if he didn’t like to admit it in his later years as a teenager.

Namine found she had finished with the memories early. She was easy enough to slip in and Riku didn’t have as deep of a connection to Kairi as he thought. It was a passing crush after all. Kairi had already given her heart to Sora and wasn’t about to change her mind.

So with some extra time, she added in a special memory, just for her. They were all back on the beach shortly before the darkness had taken their world. Sora and Kairi were cuddled up together to stay warm, but neither she nor Riku had gotten tired of talking.

No one is going to see this… she thought. Maybe it would be okay to be a little self indulgent.

It started with a gentle hold of the hand and moved to where they also were cuddling close. She was nestled in his lap with her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. His arm was a warm shield against the cool night breeze and their hands were softly intertwined. She promised herself she’d erase the memory as soon as she finished enjoying it. For a few moments, she had escaped the white room and really was there on Destiny Islands.

This wasn’t Riku. Not really. While normally confidence on the brink of arrogance, he found himself growing shy and stoic around members of the opposite sex. Kairi was an exception because they had grown up together, but he still had no idea how to approach her when their world had fallen. But that didn’t actually matter to Namine, since she was doing things she wouldn’t normally do either. This was a fantasy, nothing more, nothing less.

When she had found nothing else to say in the memory of her midnight companion, they sat together for a little longer just enjoying the quiet. The ocean was their soundtrack and the stars their background. The time to go away was racing up quickly, and she’d have to work fast if she wanted to keep something for herself. It was time to erase the magical memory. As the vision faded into oblivion, she felt a soft kiss on her head. It was cautious and slow but also warm and caused something to flutter in her heart.

The time had come to get back to work. The time spent on the false memory had eaten up more than she had expected. She saw birthdays, holidays, rainy days and total freedom. In short, she saw everything which only caused some sort of aching in her fingertips. If she could make enough people believe she had been real and seen the meteor shower that fateful night, maybe she could somehow become real. The pessimist inside her said otherwise, but she could hold it down.

“Are you quite finished with those memories? I’ve finally perfected the replica and would like to start testing immediately.”

A green eyed man interrupted her thoughts and her work as he appeared through a dark corridor. Intense cold seemed to radiate from him and she shivered in spite of herself. It didn’t help that all she had to wear was a wisp of a white dress, but that was beside the point. There was something about this mad scientist Vexen that she didn’t like and would instantly shy away from.

“Yes, I’m finished. But…please be careful with him. He’s been through a lot recently.” Namine handed the man a card.

“Like that will affect anything. I’ll let you know if I need him repaired in any way.”

Vexen left as abruptly as he came, and once again Namine was alone with only her sketch pad for company. It was time to get back to work on Sora, but she allowed herself one simple drawing before getting back to work. It was a still life of the little doll in her likeness that sat in the bird cage above. Before she knew it. She had added a riku doll beside her. When this was all said and done, she wished he’d forgive her, to.

[lady-griffin]

Who do you think will Katarina end up with?

Geordo

There are several reasons for why I think this. 

He is the male lead and is considered in the character introductions at the beginning of each Light Novel, to be One of the TWO leads, while the rest of the cast are divided up as secondary to minor characters.

This is how the characters are introduced in the Light Novels 1-5.

Katarina and Geordo’s character introductions are untouched for the most part from novel to novel. But the way the other characters are introduced with each novel changes bit by bit.

From Alan and Keith being marked as secondary characters in the 1st novel.

To Alan, Keith, and Nicol being marked as secondary characters in the 2nd novel.

To the entire Harem (minus Geordo) being marked as secondary characters in the 3rd novel and onwards.

Now I don’t know the characters introductions beyond the 5th novel, but I highly doubt that they have changed that much or if at all.

Katarina and Geordo are clearly marked as being equal in character importance – the Female Lead and the Male Lead.

Though, in the actual events of the story, Katarina is clearly the MAIN character while Geordo is just one of the many characters who is rotating around her.

--

Geordo is the first character who we truly meet in the story (excluding Katarina). Signifying his importance to the story as a whole. 

Not only that, but he is only the first character introduced as a romantic interest 

OG Katarina immediately falling for him

Geordo proposing to Katarina

Geordo and Katarina being engaged

As well as the first Doom Flag -

Katarina realizes she’s in the game of Fortune Lover because of Geordo’s name and the fact that their engagement story is the same as from the game. Because of that, we learn what that actually means for Katarina who is the villainess of the original story. Or at least, what she thinks it means. 

--

Being a romantic interest and a doom flag is a character position solely unique to Geordo and Keith.

While every now and again, Katarina will bring up that Maria, Alan and or Nicol are potentially “dangerous” to her and thus people she needs to keep an eye on for her safety… in all honestly, they’re really not. 

Honestly, it kind of feels like the author(s) forget that the other characters could hypothetically be a ‘threat’ to Katarina and remember it randomly at times, and thus just insert it into the story. 

Geordo and Keith are the true “doom flags” for Katarina. And even in that regard, Geordo and Keith are treated somewhat differently from one another. 

Geordo’s role as a doom flag, is given a lot more attention than Keith as a doom flag. Now Katarina will insure her “safety” by telling Keith that she will never stand in his way of him being in love with someone, but that’s about it, as the years go on. 

Katarina practicing her magic and getting stronger in that field to avoid being killed by Keith, is basically dropped as soon as it’s mentioned. As Katarina’s magic is quickly established as being weak, no matter what she does. So, that aspect of the story is a bit forgotten as the story moves forward.

But really, I think that even Katarina realizes that Keith as a doom flag is basically a neutralized threat, because of their close sibling relationship.

Geordo on the other hand, is still treated as a Doom Flag. Essentially all of her plans of escaping her doom, are basically plans that focus on Geordo turning on her and how to escape him specifically. Her snakes and even her sword-fighting (which is brought up less than the snakes).

So, one of the main premises of the story - the romantic and comedic tension of Katarina thinking her love-interests are potential doom-interests for her – is largely dominated by Geordo and Katarina’s relationship with him.

Though Keith is a close second in that regard. 

--

Rivalry 

While everyone is a rival, Geordo and Keith are the two main rivals (especially in the Manga).

We see this with their constant passive aggressive fighting and commentary towards one another, as well as being essential and core elements to the whole Harem and its dynamic.

Now, depending on which medium your engaging with, there are very strong arguments for Maria, Mary, or Alan being a third main rival character or if not that, at least being at a higher level than the others.

Maria

Maria is the original MC from Fortune Lover and is essential to Katarina’s fate…or at least in Katarina’s mind she is. That alone separates her from the others Harem Members. 

Maria is also marked a being different the the rest, by being the newcomer to the Harem, and her and Katarina’s relationship (friendship and more) is a factor to the overall story. 

All of that marks her as being if not a main rival, then certainly higher than others. 

Mary

Mary get in the thick of it as much as Geordo and Keith do (especially in the novels). She is a constant thorn and wrench to Geordo and everyone else, but mostly Geordo.

Alan

Alan, because of his character design and popularity among fans, he gets leveled up and is given more attention as the story continues to progress and the anime clearly cements him as a main rival.

As shown in Vol 5. Geordo is the main rival to everyone and they’re all separated into groups into what their roles are in regards to breaking Geordo and Katarina’s engagement up and keeping them apart.

While really for comedic sakes, Geordo being the biggest opponent to everyone does, to some degree, tell us about his chances with Katarina (or at least I think so).  

--

Kiss Scenes (LIGHT NOVEL SPOILERS BELOW)

In Novels 1-5, there are essentially 8 kisses that Katarina receives from the other characters (on her hand to her lips).

Out of these kisses, Geordo is the partner 6 times. Out of these kisses there are 3 pictures, that while not depicting the kisses themselves, do depict the moment just before. All of those pictures depict Geordo’s kisses.

Hand Kiss – Geordo (Vol.1)

There is a picture depicting the overall proposal scene, but not Geordo kissing Katarina’s hand or him about to.

Neck Kiss – Geordo (Vol.1)

There is a picture of Geordo hugging Katarina as they dance, right before he kisses her, but I didn’t really think it counted.

Water Kiss – Geordo (Vol.2)

This is absolutely a kiss scene. You can debate whether it’s CPR or something else, but the way it’s treated in the context of the story - it’s a kiss scene. Simple as that. 

Neck Kiss 2.0 – Sora (Vol.3)

No picture.

Retaliation Kiss – Geordo (Vol.3)

No picture.

Confession Kiss – Geordo (Vol.3)

Basically, Katarina realizes that Geordo has romantic feelings for her in this scene. While she initially thought his Retaliation Kiss was just a dream of hers, a dream she was very flustered by, she is now more than aware of what is happening.

Waking Up Kiss – Keith (Vol.4)

Keith wakes up from his own Dark Magic Coma (so to speak) and thinking Katarina is just a dream, he kisses her, much to the shock of Katarina. 

No Picture.

Retaliation Kiss 2.0 – Geordo (Vol.4)

Upset that Keith kissed Katarina in the “Waking Up Kiss”, Geordo also kisses her. 

This scene in particular, especiall with the picture, I think really cements Geordo as the one who Katarina will end up with. 

Simply because, Keith just kissed Katarina and there was no picture depicting it even though it happened a few moments/pages ago, but yet Geordo’s kiss (or about to kiss) is depicted. So, to me, this seems very telling.

 -

[Update] Originally I brought up how Nicol kissed Katarina in Vol.8 that also had a picture depicitng the scene...but that was inaccurate. There is no kiss scene between the two in that moment.

Any others, I have no idea about. 

I’m just going to stick to the novels I have read up to this point. 

So, let’s get to my main point. Out of the 8 Kisses Katarina receives, in Volumes 1-5. It’s very telling to me that Geordo is the one doing the kissing 6 out of the 8 times. Plus, in the the first 5 Volumes, the 3 kisses that are depicted are Geordo’s.

--

In Ch. 17.5 we have our first bonus chapter, which gives us a special look into Geordo’s feelings for Katarina. So far, Geordo is the only one who has received this treatment. 

Now that doesn’t mean others won’t, but I personally think that chapter is very sweet and romantic, so given that it’s Geordo’s chapter is another point for him.

In case, you somehow didn’t know, I love Ch. 17.5

--

Finally given how the story was supposed to end at Vol 2.

It’s very interesting to me that the last chapter, is from Geordo’s POV. We get to see his view on their relationship and his feelings for Katarina, as well as the water kiss scene.

Geordo gives a brief summary of each of the characters. More importantly he thinks about how is not pleased that everyone else is in love with Katarina and how he might lose her, but he does admit that he’s okay with things staying like this for awhile longer. 

Largely because Katarina is so happy.

--

I genuinely do think Geordo has the best shot of ending up with Katarina out of all the characters. 

Now whether I think that because I ship him and Katarina or whether I ship Geordo x Katarina because I think he has the best chance  is difficult to say. Probably both. 

Thanks for the question! :)

[shintorikhazumi]

Khaz’s Manga/Manhwa/Anime Recommendation Corner #1

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks. I’ve been going through finals and just couldn’t get to my fanfic chapters because my mind is incapable of writing plot atm. Hopefully my sem ends next week and I can devote myself to updates. For now, I’m gonna be doing this thing from time to time. So I read A LOT. Whether it be hard-bound books, e-books, fanfic or manga/manhwa. And am an otaku so... So, if you’re like me, and searching for some stuff to get into or pass the time with, lemme recommend you:

 1. one yuri title manga/anime, 2. a manga/manhwa that is either slice of life, villainess+reincarnation, sport, or whatever, and 3. an anime that may have flown by your radar! I’ll try not to spoil too much! Might not even give a decent synopsis haha!

1. YURI RECOMMENDATION:

Even If It Was Just Once, I Regret It /Ichido Dake Demo, Koukai Shitemasu (manga)

One of the yuri stories I am most invested in as of the moment. I love the plot, the art, the story flow. It is GORGEOUS. Basically, OL turned NEET (becoz of harassment, if i remember right) can’t pay off her rent debt is offered a compromise by her gorgeous younger landlady to pay through “favors”. It does start that way, but please. Stay. It ends up being favors like cooking and cleaning, and doing nice things and living with her landlady, all the while both are exploring their own feelings. (okay, there are still cuddling, head pats, hand hold favors too)  The nonsexual intimacy is amazingly portrayed. Actually wait... how to explain. They explore an erotic/sexual intimacy OUTSIDE the actual act of doing ‘it’. 

This has a chapter that’s basically why the “hand-holding is lewd” schtick exists. It was hot. Hotter than A LOT of doujins out there.

2. RANDOM GENRE MANHWA/MANGA

Ohayou toka oyasumi toka/Good-Morning's and Good-Night's

This is a gorgeous slice-of-life that will tug at your heart strings. It’s a family-centric manga of a man, finally free of his crappy parents and past, getting his sisters from another mother that he knew nothing about dumped on him cause his dad and their mom are just that irresponsible. Here, his view and definition of family will be explored, and together with his sister, they will discover what it truly means to have a ‘home’ and a ‘family’. It’s heart-wrenching and heart-warming. My fav character is the eldest sister, Hotaka. The pain and sacrifice she’s been through, acting as a mother instead to her younger sisters, not knowing how to be a child. The twins are growing up with no parents, but their super responsible and amazing siblings, and really, they can see and appreciate the sacrifices. It’s just so beautiful and warm. Really. Give this one a read.

3. ANIME YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE SEEN YET

A Place Further than the Universe/Sora yori mo Tōi Basho

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I had nothing else to watch at that time, I was looking for a past-time. This. Changed my life. It may feel a bit slow at the start, plot wise. It’s about these 4 high school girls going on an expedition to Antarctica, each with their own motives. The 2 i was most invested in was the one searching for her mother who had long since been missing in Antarctica, and the other searching for something special in her life. She felt like she hadn’t accomplished anything, like she was living such a mundane life. That is what initially caught me. The emotional climax, the stages of grief, got me tearing up. I would recommend this anime.

[auburnflight]

In the brief program preceding the special screening of the film, Children of the Sea promises to be about "the mystery and joy of life." That premise is compelling in the first half of the film, which abounds with vivid imagery of living things in the ocean. It ties the fateful meeting of its characters, and the ensuing festival, to memories meeting and being exchanged in a fleeting moment in time. This framing makes me think of the nearly incomprehensible diversity of life, with countless species and harmonizing movements across endless seas.

In contrast, the latter portion focuses almost exclusively on a "festival of birth"—more specifically, of conception. The film references various binaries in exploration of its themes: sea and sky, male and female, egg and sperm. The oceanic imagery and themes are reduced merely to a backdrop, to the setup, to only one half of the binary. It's not that I disagree that there is something miraculous about the existence of self-replicating life. But, watching as a woman and as a nonbinary lesbian, the film's presentation of this theme was far more frustrating to me than it was inspiring.

Because by focusing on this festival, and using it as such a critical vehicle in addressing its themes, the film boils “life” down to “conception”. The main protagonist Ruka gets entangled in the film’s plot ultimately to play a part in this conception: her role is to carry a meteorite in her stomach to the epicenter of the ritual. The visuals of this festival climax with a juxtaposition of things incomprehensibly large (stars, galaxies, the universe) with things incomprehensibly small (cells, atoms). These opposites are framed together through detailed imagery of conception and birth: the chamber that Ruka is held in is similar to a womb, the image of Umi entering the space to take the meteorite has echoes of a sperm cell penetrating an egg cell, among other references to this biological process. 

Scientifically, this is a fascinating concept to explore. And in some ways, the film does nod to its scientific origins. (I was nerding out so much about how many species of fish I could identify in the backgrounds.) But, we are urged by the director not to think, but to feel. And emotionally, the film’s reduction of “life” to “conception” didn't sit right with me. Conception is just one tiny (though important) instant, and framing that instant as the crux of life seems careless to me. Why do we live to begin with, if not to enjoy the experience of living, to create art, to tell those stories that we must pass down? Is that one tiny instant somehow even more important than the decades that we spend actually living out that life we are given? Yes, it's a miracle of science and nature that beings can reproduce and carry on their stories in their DNA. But for that to be the "mystery and joy of life"—for "life" to be defined as "conception"—is what upset me. We are not alive simply to pass on our genes and then die. The human experience is about actually living--not mere existence.

Furthermore, as a nonbinary asexual lesbian, I don't see myself or my relationships as fitting into the binaries prescribed by society and perpetuated in the film. I have no desire for a relationship that results in the creation of progeny. Yes, humanity as a whole must pass on its genes to perpetuate its stories. But the film ties procreation to Ruka’s, and by extension a human being’s, purpose for living. Why is the film’s sense of fascination so dependent on the meeting and joining of two discrete opposites in a heterosexual relationship? And what is my role in passing on these memories that are so valuable if I choose not to bear children, if I am neither male nor female? The film’s eccentric oceanographer character Anglade declares toward the end of the film that life can be viewed, not from a variety of angles, but “in one of two ways”. In presenting life as conception, and further as strictly binary, I feel that the film does many actual lives a great disservice.

Distilling Ruka’s role to being the carrier of this meteorite begets another problem that isn’t immediately obvious on one’s first watch through: Ruka never asks or expresses a desire to play this role in the festival. She isn’t even given a chance to know what it entails. In meeting Umi and Sora, she grows involved with bringing these two opposites together through her curiosity and fascination with the sea. But as the theme of conception develops throughout the film, the scene where Sora transfers the meteorite to Ruka mouth-to-mouth takes on a more serious meaning in retrospect. Ruka has been chosen to carry this “meteorite” without any say in the matter. The scene becomes not just a forced kiss, but a forced impregnation. I have little else to say to express how infuriating this scene is looking back on it.

I find it hard to think of the film now without that poor impression coloring it, so I’ll do my best to close this out eloquently. Science is important, and conception is no doubt one of the many important moments in a single life. But portraying conception as the purpose of life or the definition of life, when the character who becomes the vehicle has no agency in that conception, and when there’s so many vivid and fascinating things around us that enrich the time that we spend here on this earth, does more harm than good. Whether you look scientifically, emotionally, or any other way, it’s plain to see that life can’t truly be described as black-and-white, and adhesion to these binaries leads to so much injustice--to say the very least about my experiences as a queer woman. Binaries as ideas can help us begin to understand complexity. But when the film clung so strongly to those binaries and entangled them in its assertion of the meaning of life itself, I found myself wishing I had simply stopped watching after the first half.

[oliveiraveiro]

what we keep inside

part 1 of 3 of The Weekend

Open Heart, Rafael x F!MC

series summary: Casey and Rafael try to face their respective feelings and be honest about them to each other. With Sora in the picture, what can happen in short three days? What will happen after?

chapter summary: Not everyone will have fun at the Edenbrook gala.

tags/warning: pining, eventual happy ending, rafael x sora, suggestive thought, mention of alcohol, verbal fight

word count: 2005 / ao3 link / part 2

Friday night.                                

Casey is spending it like how she always did; drinks and karaoke with her friends.

Friday nights are always good nights. It marks the end of her week at work. It is when she can truly relax and decompress from her cases, aside from spending quality time with her friends who are as busy as she is.

So as usual, she was giddy, a half-drunk cocktail in her hand as she watched and cheered Elijah as he belted out the lyrics to Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee.

Casey had a blush on her cheeks that she has been feeling for about an hour now, and she had been smiling more than usual.

She keeps on telling herself it was just the drinks, but she knows deep inside that it had something to do with the brown-eyed man sitting in front of her who decided to join karaoke night tonight.

They were broken up, sure, and he is seeing someone else. But the times they hang out together, even just as friends, still made her happy. He still made her happy.

She steals a glance in his direction, only to find him already looking at her. They both smile at each other, and Casey blushes even more. She can only hope it was not too obvious.

“We’re friends with such singers, aren’t we?” she says with a smile.

“I certainly am. You really did good with your rendition of Famous. Always a Raleigh Carrera fan.” Rafael answers with a teasing grin.

Before she can flush even more, thankfully, Jackie interrupts. “Casey, you gonna buy a new dress for the gala tomorrow?”

Oh, right. The gala. She almost forgot about it already. She quickly noted her wardrobe in her head before answering no.

“I think I have a few that should work for the attire,” she smiles at her, glad for the needed distraction. “Are you? You should definitely check out my closet first, I have a gold formal dress that you’d absolutely love.”

Jackie smiles gratefully at Casey. “I will, thank you.” She turns her attention to Rafael. “How about you, Superman? It’d be nice to see you in a tux.”

“Oh, no, I’m not going.” Rafael says, shyly.

“What? Why not?” Casey was quick to ask him. “You always attend Edenbrook events. This has to be the biggest one yet!”

“Yeah, Raf. The fanciest, too. And the fact that the hospital won’t spend a dime on it is a plus in my book.” Jackie adds.

As soon as the word ‘fancy’ was said, Casey understood. She looks at Rafael with a small frown but does not try to speak again.

“Not the ones that require me to wear a tuxedo. Sorry, Jackie.”

“Aw, man, come on. I was hoping you’d join me to find one to rent tomorrow.” Elijah pipes in, now off the makeshift stage and back to join them.

“I can accompany you, sure, but I still won’t go. You guys know that’s just not my thing. But I do hope you have fun for me.” Rafael gives them a genuine smile.

Jackie is about to speak again, but Casey catches her attention and gives her a look to drop it, and she nods just a little.

“Well, if you change your mind…” Elijah says simply.

“Sure. I’ll…try to think about it more.” Rafael agrees. He ends up meeting Casey’s eyes, and he immediately gives her a sheepish look.

His mind is most likely not going to change, and they both know that Casey knew that. Reassuring him, she smiles and gives him a small wink.

She is just about to speak again to try and change the topic, but Sienna decides to join them again then, inviting her for a dance.

Casey agrees, letting Sienna take her hand, and before she can pull her into the dance floor, she gives Rafael a knowing look.

He smiles up at her again, his eyes lighting up at the familiar gesture, but Casey was pulled away by Sienna before she could see the also obvious elation in his eyes.

Saturday night.

To say that Casey looked beautiful is an understatement.

She is wearing an emerald green dress, matched with some black high heels that Rafael thinks can definitely be wielded as a weapon if needed. It only added to how sexy she looked. Her red hair is more wavy than her usual do, but is still swept to the side. She is wearing quite some makeup, but it suits her well, and all that is on Rafael’s mind as soon as he saw Casey tonight was how stunning she is.

Sure, attending this gala was far from how he planned to spend the night. But what happened already happened, and he is here now. He is more than thankful to be graced by Casey’s appearance.

He continued watching her rub elbows with some big-names, long enough for he himself to feel uncomfortable. Only then he realizes that he has been alone with his drink for quite a while now. With how much Sora tried convincing him that it will be such a great idea to attend tonight’s event, that it will be such a terrific date, he naturally expected her to be by his side. But only god knows which important person she is schmoozing with right now.

For maybe the twentieth time tonight, he lets out a sigh, finishing up his drink. Elijah! Yeah, he can probably try to find him.

Just as he is about to take another look around the room, Casey takes up his view. She gives him a friendly smile.

“Hey, stranger,” she greets. “Something wrong with your drink?”

Realizing that he is frowning, Rafael quickly schools his features, and for the first time tonight he grins.

“Something like that. I probably need something stronger, or-- actually I think beer is better.”

Casey laughs softly. “Not sure if we can find a pint, but we can probably help ourselves to a glass of whiskey. Or five.”

“Getting cozy with the rich and powerful exhausting you?” He asks her, seeing through her smiles and laugh, eyebrows furrowing again in concern.

“Barely starting and I am already very exhausted.” She sighs, easing off on the charm. “And you? You don’t look like you’re having a blast either.”

Rafael is grateful that she did not directly ask him what made him change his mind on going. But well, that is who Casey was. She hated confrontation as much as he did, which is why they were still friends, despite recently going through a breakup.

“Yeah, you know I’d rather be staying at home.” He sighed softly, looking down at his drink for a moment as he debated whether to tell her more or not. “Sora insisted that we attend. It was supposed to be a date, but…”

Casey nods as Rafael trails off, seeing how he is unhappy tonight, even more with talking about why he was. Still, she is unable to bite back a comment. “A date, huh?” she repeats.

Rafael chuckles, quick to realize what she means by that. On their first official date, he is the one who told her that he and the word fancy just do not fit together nicely.

Now he was here in this fancy gala, in a fancy tuxedo although rented, drinking a fancy drink. Casey can sense his discomfort, but although him being here tonight is not ideal for him, she thanks the stars in the night sky. He looks so dashing and handsome.

If he looked good in his casual clothes, he is mighty fine in black tie. It takes all of Casey’s concentration to meet his eyes the whole time and not check out his body and think about getting rid of his jacket, his bow tie, his vest, then proceed to unbutton his dress shirt slowly, all the while running her hands along…shit.

“I know,” he sighs. “At least I got to see you and spend time with you. And…the others…later.”

She grins at that, making sure she focuses on his face this time, nodding a little. “Come on, I know where they are. Elijah’s hell-bent on making everyone try playing poker tonight.”

Rafael gives her a surprised look, although he already starts following her.

“There’s a table labeled broke players only, I promise.” She clarifies and they laugh together as they head towards the rest of the gang.

“This was supposed to be a date night, Rafael! Surely you can’t possibly be mad at me that I’m upset to find you hanging out with your friends and ex-girlfriend.” About an hour later, Sora almost shouts as she follows Rafael out of the hospital.

Are you serious? Rafael thinks to himself, but he bites back his tongue. “I’m not mad, Sora, I just don’t think that was necessary or appropriate--”

“Why? Because you still like her? You don’t want me kissing you when she’s around?”

“You call that kissing? You could’ve sucked the lips out of my mouth! In public!” Rafael tries his hardest not to raise his voice but getting through her right now is just impossible.

Sora usually keeps her resolve. But when she gets drunk or tipsy, this foreign version of her, the one who loves fights, just comes out not to play but to yell at Rafael.

Actually, even without the influence of alcohol, he has been well-acquainted with her lately. Things between them have been less than perfect, obviously so, because this relationship, them, should be easy and comfortable, but for a few weeks now it has been anything but. They should really talk about it because their relationship turned out to be the opposite of both their expectations, Rafael notes in his head.

He will definitely not be putting it off anymore. He knows he already said that the last time they had a misunderstanding, but it will happen. Totally. He is not sure when, but surely, someday. Hopefully-- no, certainly, before she ends up deciding to break up with him.

“Look, I really don’t want to fight. All I want right now is to go home, so please get in the car and I’ll drive you to your apartment.” Rafael says in a calm voice.

“Let me guess, now you’re gonna tell me that you never wanted to go here in the first place? That you’re right about not wanting to go? And it’s all my fault that you’re flirting with your ex--”

“Sora, please, I swear to you I wasn’t flirting with--”

“Maybe I basically forced you to go with me tonight, Raf. That’s on me. But you were, and anyone with eyes would see all the sparks flying between the two of you. This is the reason why you didn’t even tell me you dated, right? This is why I had to ask specifically if you two had history.” She is finally calmed down, but somehow there is more bite to her words.

Dropping the hammer, Sora continues. “You still have feelings for her.”

Rafael inhales sharply, feeling the rising panic in his chest. “What- I- No…”

“I’d say you’re convincing me and not yourself, but I know better.” Sora chuckles humorlessly. “God.” she sighs deeply, rubbing her forehead with both hands in frustration. “I should’ve known better. Your heart is big, Raf, I’ve always known that. But not too big for me to be sharing your love with someone else, no matter how much you try to deny it.”

“Sora, please, let me just--” he tries to grab her hand, and she lets him, but he notices she looks past his shoulder.

“Talk to her, really talk to her. It’s about time you do.” Sora says, taking his keys. “I’m still buzzed so I’ll wait for you in the car. Take as long as you need.”

Rafael was confused for a moment, but he soon feels the eyes boring on the back of her head. He turns around, freezing upon seeing her.

“Casey…”

[maddrmatt]

Kairi’s Epic Journey: The Quest for Sora

New to this fanfic? Click here to properly begin!

Chapter 5: A Gift for the Princess

?

“Child?  Why do you weep?”

“Huh?” asked Kairi as she ceased crying and raised her head.  She looked around for the source of the mysterious voice.  But there was no sign of anything in the darkness.

“Who’s there?” she asked.

Suddenly, a beam of light shone down upon her from above. She looked upward and saw a glowing portal of light hovering in the air.  

Within it was the silhouette of what appeared to be a woman. But the light was so bright that Kairi couldn’t make out any discernable features

“I believe I asked you a question first, my dear.  Tell me, why are you so sad?” she asked in a gentle tone of concern.

Kairi hung her head down.  “It’s because I’m responsible for something awful.”

“And what may that be?”

“My friends and I were in a great battle to save the worlds.  Though we won, I was killed and someone very special to me had to trade his own life to bring me back,” said Kairi.

“Sounds like you think very highly of this person. Especially if his loss is causing you such great sorrow,” said the woman.

“He was one of the best friends and people I ever knew.  It’s not right that he helped so many and saved the worlds and doesn’t even get to enjoy his victory.”

“And why do you shoulder the blame for what happened to him?  Truly, there must be someone more responsible than you.”

Kairi’s eyes narrowed in anger.  “Oh, there is.  The man who set all this pain and suffering in motion: Xehanort.  He hurt so many people including many of my friends. He’s the one who killed me and left me with this horrible scar on my back.  Now I can never forget him or everything he took from me.”

Kairi’s eyes then turned sorrowful.  “But still, he wouldn’t have been able to get what he wanted if I had been stronger.  I trained as hard as I could and in the end, Sora still had to save me.  This time, at the highest cost ever.”

She gazed downward again.  “All I ever wanted was to be part of his life for all time. There was so much I wanted to tell him. That I wanted to do with him.  And now thanks to my uselessness, I’ll never get that chance.  ‘And the Princess of Heart lived unhappily ever after.’  Some ending to our story.”

“Now child, don’t speak so harshly about yourself. And who’s to say that your story is over now?  Perhaps it is merely the beginning of a whole new chapter for the both of you.  I have a gift for you that may be just what you need to get started on it.”

“Huh?” asked Kairi.

“Hold out your hand, my dear,” said the woman.

Kairi said nothing but did as she was told and held out her right hand.  As she watched, the woman extended her hand toward her.  White light gathered in the palm of her hand and formed into a ball. The ball of light then floated from the woman’s hand until it stopped just above Kairi’s outstretched hand. The ball then shone brighter and brighter causing Kairi to cover her eyes.

When the light died down, Kairi felt something had entered her hand.  She uncovered her eyes and her jaw dropped in surprise.

Sitting in her palm was what appeared to be a star made out of white crystal.  It was slightly bigger than her palm, but not overly large that Kairi couldn’t wrap her fingers around it.  A gold chain was looped through one of the points indicating that it could be worn like a necklace or medallion.  In the center of the star was a carved image of a flower with four petals and within the center of the flower was the shape of a heart.

“What is this?” asked Kairi.

“A very special talisman,” replied the woman.

“It looks like a Wayfinder like my lucky charm that I gave to Sora or what Terra, Aqua and Ven had,” said Kairi.

“I guess you could call it that then.”

“What does it do?”

“It has the power to traverse the worlds and guide you to where you need to be.”

“Where I need to be?” muttered Kairi before she let out a gasp.  “You mean it’ll take me to Sora?”

“Perhaps it will.  But whether or not he is able to be saved will all depend on you,” said the woman.

“What’s that supposed to mean?  Is there something I need to do?  Because if there is, I’ll do it!  Just tell me!” demanded Kairi.

“You will have to forgive my vagueness, Kairi. I do wish I could tell you everything. But I can only get you started on this journey.  There are some things you just have to discover and do for yourself.  But trust me when I say that I have nothing but your best interests at heart and a sincere desire for you to be happy again,” said the woman.

Kairi was still a little skeptical.  She wished this mysterious benefactor would be clearer. But still, there was something about this woman that made her want to trust her, so she calmed down.

“Well, when you put it that way, I guess vague help is better than no help at all especially after seven months with no leads on how to help him.  So how do I use this Wayfinder?” asked Kairi.

“That I can tell you and it is actually quite simple to use.  All you need to do is hold it to your heart and will it to take you where you need to be. And after you’ve done what you need to do in the world that it takes you to, it will glow and that’s when you’ll know it’s time to move onto the next world,” said the woman.

“That simple, huh?”

“Just keep in mind that wherever you go, you’re there for a reason even if it’s not apparent.  But I must warn you, Kairi.  Once you start on the path that the Wayfinder guides you on, there will be no turning back.  And though the various threats to the worlds such as the Heartless, the Nobodies and the Unversed have vanished for now since the defeat of Xehanort, that does not mean that there won’t be any danger.  There are still many evildoers and villains that you may encounter.  So, ask yourself this, Kairi, are you prepared to take that risk?” asked the woman.

Kairi didn’t have to think twice.  “I may not fully understand what you’re trying to do. But if there’s even a slim chance that this Wayfinder will lead me to Sora, then I’ll take it.  He risked everything to save so many including me. It’s time someone did the same for him.”

“You are a very determined young lady, Kairi. That will serve you well on your journey.  Now one final piece of advice.  Throughout your travels, heed these words: follow in the footsteps of your special one and a broken heart may be healed.  I wish you the best of luck,” said the woman.

Suddenly, the light from the woman’s portal began to glow brighter until the whole void was immersed in bright light.  Kairi could no longer see any sign of the woman. But looking ahead, she saw a most welcome sight.

Standing with his back to her, was Sora.  Slowly, he turned around and gave her the smile that she often believed that would reach any heart.

As the light increased, Sora began to fade from view.  But before he vanished completely, his mouth moved as if speaking though no sound came out. But Kairi could read his lips and knew exactly what his message was.  It warmed her heart to no end.

“See you soon.”

________________________________________________________________

Destiny Islands

Back in her bed, Kairi awoke.  As she sat up, Pluto awoke as well and crawled up to her with a look of concern on his face.

Kairi let out a deep sigh.  “That definitely was the worst dream yet, Pluto.  It’s bad enough that it started with such awful things.  But then it torments me further by pretending to give me something that can guide me to Sora.  I really must be going crazy,” said Kairi as she rubbed her temple.

Suddenly, her other hand brushed up against something under the bedcovers.  Upon noticing, Kairi pulled them back and her eyes shot wide open as did Pluto’s.

There, sitting on her bed, was the Wayfinder from her dream!

Kairi couldn’t believe her eyes.  “I-It’s here!  It’s real!”

‘If it’s really here when I’m awake, does that mean that it really will lead me to Sora?’

Cautiously, she reached for it.  Now that she knew it really existed, she was a little more hesitant. For all she knew, it could be some kind of trap.

Finally, her fingers touched the center of the Wayfinder.  A warm feeling suddenly surged through her.  It felt shocking but at the same time, it almost felt reassuring.

It was as if the Wayfinder was bringing back something that she thought she was losing: her hope.

Kairi picked up the Wayfinder by its chain and gazed at it.  Pluto gazed at it too with a puzzled look.

“This is it, Pluto.  This is what I’ve been waiting for.  This is what’s going to help me get Sora back!”

Pluto still looked confused.  He didn’t know what Kairi was talking about.  But that trinket she was holding definitely hadn’t been in the room when they had gone to bed.

Kairi immediately leapt up from her bed and started pacing around her room.  “Oh, there’s so much I need to do, I don’t know where to start.  I’ve got to get dressed.  I’ve got to pack.  Oh wait. That’s already done.  I’ve had my knapsack packed for months.  I’ve got to leave a note for Mom and Dad.  I’ve got to call Riku and…”

Kairi stopped herself.  In all her excitement over the Wayfinder, she had completely forgotten two things: that she had left her Gummi Phone in the Secret Place and that she wasn’t currently on speaking terms with Riku.

Kairi brought the Wayfinder up to her eyelevel. ‘Should I go tell him and the others about this?’

Then Kairi remembered how Riku and the others reacted when she told them she felt Sora a month ago.  A bitter feeling came over her.

‘And tell them what?  That you were given this talisman that’ll lead you to Sora by a mysterious woman in a dream?  They’ll think that you’re losing it, Kairi.  They didn’t believe you before, so they certainly won’t believe you now.’

Kairi walked over to her window.  Looking through it, she saw the dawn beginning to break over the horizon where the sky and sea met.  

‘Looks like I’m on my own for this journey.  And that’s probably the way it should be.  Sora’s where he is because of me so it’s my responsibility and mine alone to bring him home.  And when I do, Riku and everyone else will finally realize they made a mistake and apologize for giving up.  That’s right. When I get Sora back, everything will be okay again’

Her mind now made up; Kairi immediately began her preparations.

________________________________________________________________

Much later, now fully dressed with a knapsack full of shrunken supplies on her back and the Wayfinder hanging from her neck, Kairi opened up her window.  Turning around, she looked at her bedroom door knowing that her parents, who were still asleep, would open that door in the morning and find her gone.  She then turned to her bed upon where a piece of paper had been left on top of her pillow.  A pang of regret shot through her.

‘I’m sorry, Mom and Dad.  I hate to run away like this.  But I can’t let anyone stop me.  Hopefully, my note will provide a good enough explanation.  I’ll be back soon.  I hope.’

She then climbed up on the window ledge and looked to the ground.  Most people would have been afraid to jump from a second story window.  But not her.  She had jumped greater distances such as the giant leap she took in the Castle that Never Was when Sora was being attacked by the Organization’s Heartless. Compared to that, this was nothing.

With a deep breath, she leapt out and dropped to the backyard below.  She landed easily on her feet.  Turning around and looking up at the window, she called up in a whisper, “Okay Pluto! Your turn!  Come on down!”

In response to her call, the dog leapt out of her window.  Like her, he landed on his feet.

“Nice landing, Pluto.  You must be part cat.”

Pluto suddenly gave a look of offense. Clearly being compared to a feline didn’t sit to well with him.

“Easy, boy.  I meant no offense,” said Kairi as she held up her hands in defense.

Then she knelt down so she could look Pluto in the eye.  “Pluto, you’ve been a great friend and a great comfort to me this last month.  So, this isn’t going to be easy for you to hear.”

In response, Pluto gave her a questioning look.  What was she about to say to him?

“Since I’m going off to find Sora, I think it’s time for you to go home.  So, I want you to go to Riku and he’ll make sure you get home to Disney Castle.”

Kairi then gave Pluto an affectionate pat on the head.  “I really loved having you stay with me this past month.  I’m really going to miss you.”

With that, Kairi rose up and walked toward the gate that would take her out of the backyard.  She opened it up and headed for the sidewalk.

But as she walked down the sidewalk, she heard footsteps behind her.  She turned around and saw Pluto following her.

“Pluto, this isn’t the way to Riku’s house,” she said.

In response, Pluto just continued to walk until he reached her side.  Stopping, he looked up at her and gave her a smile.

“I can’t take you with me, Pluto.  It could be very dangerous.”

The dog just walked in front of her, turned around and sat down.  His eyes contained a glimmer of determination.

‘Seems he really wants to come with me.  But I don’t want to put him in danger.  Sure, Sora had Donald and Goofy with him on his adventures and Riku had Mickey with him.  But they all had skills and powers to protect themselves while Pluto has none.’

But then Kairi recalled, from what she had heard, that for the duration of the past adventures, Pluto had been off on his own doing something that was still unknown to them.  And he had shown up in the nick of time to protect her from Axel when he had tried to kidnap her.  

‘Maybe he’ll be able to handle himself just fine on the journey. Plus, it would be nice to have some company.’

Then Pluto gave one of the classic puppy-dog eyes looks to her. She had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter.

‘Oh, how can I say no to that face?’

Kairi smiled and scratched Pluto on the head. “Pluto, you are definitely the best dog in all the worlds.  All right. You can come along.”

Pluto barked happily and started licking Kairi’s cheek.  Kairi giggled for a moment before shushing him.

“Keep it down, Pluto.  We don’t want to wake anyone up especially my parents.  Now let’s get going.  There’s something I need to do before we leave the Islands.”

With that, the two of them continued onward. Kairi didn’t know what truly laid on the journey ahead.  But with the Wayfinder in hand and Pluto by her side, she would explore any world, face any obstacle and fight any enemy that stood in her way.

Nothing would stop her in her efforts to reunite with the most special person in her heart.

________________________________________________________________

Onto the next chapter!

[monkeydluffy19920]

Respond: Is Sanji a pervert?

In reference to/inspired by [x] @cruising-on-pirate-dreams

It’s always been an interesting topic to see how people interpret Sanji’s character, in general. Usually, if he is not liked in fandom, he is seen as a hardcore pervert who thinks nothing more than that and all the arguments are based on his will to peep women and his nose bleedings. Then, there are other thoughts, that consider that his ero- kappa side is partly an exaggerated gag made by Oda-sensei.

Ever since the beginning, it's been fun to ponder the reasons behind the characters’ behavior and Sanji is not an exception. Actually, he was one of the characters I didn’t completely like in the beginning, because back then, during the elementary school, it was hard to understand why would someone fall in love with (almost) every lady they meet. Then slowly his characteristic started to open more to my blind eyes and the more I saw the soft side of Sanji and how much he puts effort on his friends, the more reasonable it was to see why he is so popular among fans. It seems like the hate he gets is mostly because people pay attention to his lust-side and examine it only from one point of view.

There was a very interesting analyze written by @cruising-on-pirate-dreams about Sanji’s personality and tendency to be called pervert. In comparison, the fellow fan used Absalom and there were good points to be lifted up:

Absalom without a shame used his devil fruit skills to lurk on both Nami and Robin and never gave a rat’s eye whether Nami or Robin liked his forceful style to approach them. Both of them were clear objects to him that he licked and touched without permission, he even said openly that he likes Nami more because she is weaker in his eyes and later he kidnapped her and made her unconscious so he could marry her by force.

Sanji has a tendency to put himself into the submissive position, especially when it comes down to interacting with women. Yes, of course, he has this “I need lady~!”-kind of side but it’s remarkable how the more familiar/closer the woman is, the more submissive he actually is, in other words, he never puts himself above the ladies, especially when it comes down to interacting with Nami and Robin.

Before the Whole Cake Island arc was published, I’ve written in Reasons to love Mugiwaras - Sanji - post that I actually do believe that despite the reputation and what he gives out of himself in public (being tough and ladies man), deep inside he is actually very broken and vulnerable and once more of his past was revealed after the time skip, the more sense all the headcanons and speculations started to become logical.

The flashbacks in the Baratie arc showed that he was on edge of dying after the shipwreck which gave a little pieces of information about him but after the Germa66 and Sanji’s links into it were revealed, it was even more clear that he indeed had a terrible and traumatic childhood and suffered from great amounts neglection and abuse by his biological family until he escaped. The new supplement/update of the background story finally gave a further and more detailed explanation of why Sanji doesn’t see self-worth in himself and always puts others in front of him. He has put himself under the target line for his nakamas many times without caring how his own life and his dreams of finding All Blue would be thrown into waste if the worst-case scenario happened.

Thankfully, there was someone from the family standing by his side and therefore Sanji grew very close to his mother. Unfortunately, she passed away early due to the illness (that actually protected Sanji to become an emotionless killing machine like his brothers) and then he was again left all alone in his personal hell.  Sora’s death might’ve left a certain gap in his heart. Perhaps the reason he treats women kindly (especially the ones he really adores) has roots in Sora’s way to support Sanji and maybe inside his core, he decided to continue sharing her mother’s legacy of kindness. He might appear like a tough guy who swears like a sailor but only the fact that he has saved an enemy from starvation tells that Sanji truly has a heart of gold, just like Sora.

It’s highly likely that behind the scenes and below the surface,  Sanji could be actually looking for similar acceptance and unconditional love he got from his mother. But why then do all that ero-kappa stuff and womanizing when being around women? Mainly I still believe that it’s a continuous character gag just like Zoro’s poor sense of direction or Nami’s greediness but somehow it feels that there might be logical reasons behind this behavior.

Of course, it’s easy to interpret and only think that he is just a lustful pervert from the fact that his locker is full of girl magazines and that especially during the crew’s reunion after the time skip when it felt like Sanji couldn’t control himself with his nose bleedings.

However, if one takes a look to past 20 years One Piece has existed, it’s remarkable to see how much Sanji actually does pay respect to women, especially towards his crewmates. He doesn’t only give compliments on their appearance (i.e how cute they look) or use polite suffixes (”chan” and “san”) while communicating with them, he also praises openly and sincerely their skills and how strong they are. So, it’s obvious that Sanji definitely sees more than just their bodies.

Then to body swap, what @cruising-on-pirate-dreams wrote as well in another post. It’s easy to be seen that Sanji was happy that Law happened to swap his and Nami’s bodies and yes, he took peeks and adored the body features. However, because of this ero kappa-gag, one perspective is easily being left out of the spotlights (if readers didn’t pay enough attention): He did take good care of Nami’s body and he was aware how his actions can affect on her body and reflected on them many times. He smoked in her body but felt bad for doing that. Now it could be easily argued: “If he cares about Nami, why did he smoke in the first place?” but the answer is simple, he is a chain smoker and besides, Nami herself did give him the permission and the cigarettes in Punk Hazard.

Well, despite Nami’s warnings, he did take her jacket away when she wasn’t looking but he had a good reason (Kinemon’s torso was underwater and he happened to be the best swimmer out of the options) and besides, he apologized, just like he apologized for harming her lungs with his cigarettes. He also kept constantly worrying whether the diving would be too much for Nami’s body under the circumstances.

So, if Sanji really does only see Nami as a sexual object he wouldn't have feel an urge to apologize for things he did when their bodies were swapped. If she’d only matter to him for lustful reasons and for good looks, he could have taken the advantange on her by taking everything away and do more exploring (if he was alone) but he didn’t because obviously, they were busy solving the mess Caesar made but mostly, (putting aside the comedy-reasons) he knows that going further would have been way too disrespectful and would have violated their nakamaship (and would be against the fact that he has protected her purity back in Thriller Bark and tried to avoid to stain her) especially if he later got caught somehow and it would anyway make no sense if he wanted to hurt her in any way intentionally. 

So, at least for me especially Punk Hazard was an arc that proved that despite the comedy, Robin and Nami are clearly not objects for Sanji and although he surely has felt some lust towards them, he respects the boundaries treats them well and speaks with much softer tones to them and even uses certain suffixes while addressing them. 

Someone asked the reasons behind the suffixes and whether there are any deeper meanings  Oda’s response was that he was basically inspired by his older staff members who wanted to be treated as they were younger. Zeff taught Sanji chivalry and perhaps this detail of the story was really based on Oda’s real life.

Back to the previous topic, why is Sanji portrayed as a pervert? Well, mainly for sure to make balance with comics on heavy storylines and because being interest in opposite-sex openly seems to be part of who he is but then thinking below the surface, what if those wild nosebleeds and dreams about peeping women are all actually just a mask of him? Yes, he does have a crush easily on women he meets and flirts with them but what if there is more than that?

Actually, one of the headcanons I’ve had for years is that Sanji has experienced a traumatic loss that has given him the deep fear of losing the others he holds dear (and that’s why he'd be so sacrificial) and Whole Cake Island sort of supported that thought. It can be possible that because he was strongly bullied by his siblings and despised by his own father (being called a weakling and so on), this all has stained his self-confidence below zero for good and it still will take time to see that he is worthy. Hopefully, Luffy’s words back in Baratie and the retrieval team’s efforts and experiencing his lowest point before the tea party opened his eyes for good and gave his character the chance to grow.  

Like many fans agree, the only place where Sanji has complete confidence is anywhere that is related on his profession, cooking because Zeff convinced that the “chibi-Nasu” really does have potential in becoming a chef, otherwise, he can be surprisingly insecure although he doesn’t show it up openly, perhaps he hides it with this kind of actions.  On top of that, Zeff raised Sanji to respect women so if he really was a pervert and didn’t care about what his foster father taught, then perhaps he would act more like Absalom. However, (again setting the comical aspects aside), I think Sanji himself knows where to cross the line when it really comes down to women. Most likely Zeff wouldn’t approve if Sanji really thought that women are just objects of lust and Sanji probably doesn’t want to disappoint (even unconsciously) someone who saved him from certain death and raised him as his own child. 

Only Oda-sensei knows completely his character and knows the answers but Sanji’s behavior makes me wonder that what if actually at some point he has created kind of an “alter ego” to protect himself? What if he built himself a personality full of confidence so no one would see that deep inside, there is a fragile boy and a wounded man? Well, this is all just speculation so it’s hard to say whether there is any truth behind these thoughts or not but shortly said, Sanji is a great character and there are definitely reasonable reasons for his behavior, in general. However, he indeed is stuck in these ero kappa- gag and it’s sometimes a shame indeed that some (potentially shippy) moments are ruined by those weird faces or when he goes too lustful but on the other hand, it might be just Oda’s way to keep the series’ focus on the main points instead of romance

It’s really hard to believe that Sanji would actually be a pervert as in the term is officially described but once again, it’s all about interpretation. However, if one takes a closer look to the comparison between Sanji’s and Absalom’s interest in Nami (and other women) and comparing it to the facts of what perversion is in terms of human behavior,  it can be easy to tell that out of these two, Absalom is the true pervert.

[nadziejastar]

How do you think Axel would have been viewed if he was a woman, but otherwise written exactly the same?

I think a female Lea (Leah?) would have been very popular. She’d be a breath of fresh air considering how stereotypical most female characters are. She’d have as many fanboys as Lea does fangirls. I don’t think she would have been shipped with Roxas as much, though. I just don’t think it would have been as popular if it weren’t a yaoi pair with an uke and seme. If anything, I think people would have assumed she was a lesbian, lol. But that’s just my speculation. I think her relationship with Saix would have been far more acceptable to see as romantic if she’d been female, whether Saix was male or female. Female/Female relationships are just more socially acceptable. If Axel had been a girl, I’d still like her with Isa.

Lea the Crybaby

“Even if we don’t see each other, it’s more important that we think about each other all the time, anyway, right? …Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned. “It doesn’t suit you, saying things like that.”

Those words were meant to make them feel better, but… if I went into that, I’d look weak. “Shaddap,” said Axel, looking away.

Xion laughed. Roxas found it funny too, and he started to laugh.

“Is it that funny?!” Axel asked almost unconsciously.

Roxas and Xion stopped laughing for a moment, but when they looked at each other, they burst out laughing again.

If Axel had been a girl, he wouldn’t have to be written or perceived any differently. I don’t think there’s anything about his personality that couldn’t have been possible in a female character. Heck, I think many aspects of him would have been more accepted as a female character. If he were female, he would have been perceived differently, though. 

And because of that, he wouldn’t have been robbed of all his emotional depth in KH3. As a Nobody, Axel had balls of steel. He smiled even as he was disappearing. He always smiled through the worst pain. He was a total hardass. It’s a big reason why he became so popular. Most of the male fans I know in real life liked Axel because he was a total badass in Castle Oblivion. And he was. He was cold and ruthless and COOL. All of that is fine in female characters, too.

“I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.”

“I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time,” Isa replied with a bit of humor in his tone.

“See? I’m immortal!”

“You’re obnoxious.”

But Axel was not naturally cold and badass. He became that way because he was VERY sensitive. He was a very multi-dimensional character. You can especially see it in the novels. He was so softhearted that he became desensitized to pain. That’s how he was able to smile all the time. In BBS, you can see he’s not really “badass”. He’s a huge dork that gets teased by Isa. I’ve seen some fans (mostly male) dislike the direction they took him in Days and BBS because he seemed too nice. But that’s the real Lea. A kindhearted, lovable, childish dork.

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

I think Axel became more flat and was reduced to mainly comic relief in KH3 specifically because the KH3 team was afraid of the backlash they might receive if they did what they were originally gonna do with him. The were scared to go all the way and take his story to its natural conclusion because he’s male. Probably because it would change the way people perceived him. He’s not really as cool and badass as people thought. If he had been female, this side of his personality would have been embraced. But as a male, it was much more difficult to pull off, and ultimately, Square was too cowardly to do it.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

Axel was a very deep character. He had many sides. Kanemaki was a writer on Days and I think she had a lot to do with how fleshed out he became. Due to his trauma, he appeared to be very stoic and other times very carefree. But deep down, he was very vulnerable. He hated showing it. He hated it when people saw him cry. He hid his feelings very well. Roxas and Xion never saw the emotional side of him. And many fans didn’t either. Axel was still smiling the last time he saw Roxas in person, when he said let’s meet again in the next life. He only cried for the first time in KH2FM. The scene didn’t go too far. It was ambiguous if Roxas could even tell Axel was crying. Axel never allowed himself to showed true vulnerability with Roxas.

“Let’s meet again in the next life.”

At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”

There was something funny about Roxas’ serious answer, and Axel laughed.

Same with Kairi. And that was the problem. Axel/Lea was more emotional in KH3. He had a heart, so it’s only natural. He cried with Kairi, but ran away afterwards. When he reunited Roxas and Xion, he cried again. But IMO, that wasn’t the catharsis he really needed. He was still bottling a lot of strong feelings up. He never has a scene where he has to confront his emotional baggage and deal with it. He never had to deal with the fact that he was using Roxas as an emotional crutch for much deeper issues.

Then someone else spoke behind him. “I’ve been waiting for you, Axel.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d show up.” His smirk turned nastier as he turned to see Saïx. He didn’t take his eyes off the other man as he spoke to the girl in the cage.

His final fight was robbed of almost all emotion. It didn’t feel like he had anything to fight for. He lacked passion or a strong purpose. Look how many people say that Lea shouldn’t have even gotten a Keyblade. The fight wasn’t for Axel and Saix to finally settle their issues. It felt more like Roxas and Xion were the stars. Then the stupid Subject X crap was shoehorned in. 

Lea is mostly known in KH3 for having a few quips where he breaks the fourth wall. His humor was allowed to be played up as much as possible. But, he wasn’t allowed much genuine emotion. Despite having a heart, he felt more hollow than ever in many ways. His reunion with Roxas and Xion was…cute? I guess? To me it felt forced. Lea still acted kinda “meh”. Roxas and Xion were crying, and he was still trying to play it cool. He was never allowed to take his mask off. He still never had true a moment of emotional catharsis.

You’re ultimately still a crybaby, but you don’t need the marks anymore.

The truth is, Lea needed a resolution where he wasn’t forced into the cool and aloof big brother role. It’s why the Roxas and Xion reunion didn’t provide any closure to his character arc. Lea wasn’t really aloof, like he acted on Day 96. He was super emotional. He needed someone to be truly 100% vulnerable with. The only character to know that side of Lea was Isa. And it’s obvious that “Lea the crybaby” is something that revolved around his relationship with Isa more than anyone. It’s mentioned in Isa’s Character File story.

The sunset stung my eyes. I’ve been a bit of a crybaby lately. I wonder if it’s because the upside-down tear charm is gone.

And also Lea’s Character File story called “I Will Not Forget You”. His character arc in KH3 was “resolved” by hastily reuniting with Roxas and Xion and “working it out” with Saix. But…it really wasn’t resolved at all.

Axel suddenly broke his silence. “Well, even if things change, we’ll never be apart—”

“—As long as we remember one another,” Xion finished. “Right?”

The day the ‘Winner’ stick was finally mentioned, it’s called “Sunset” and Axel told them they’d never be apart. He was acting like nothing was wrong, even though he knew there was barely any time left for them to be together. He never let Roxas and Xion know how sentimental he was. On Xion’s “Day 6″ she disappeared. It was called “Tears”. That’s the day Axel finds the white envelope with the stick in it.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saix, too.

Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saix’s back. “We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saix continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saix finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.” Axel puffed out his chest.

“How stupid,” said Saix, and for a moment he smiled. “Let’s hurry up and prepare. Time is limited. The hero will wake up soon, too. I’ll send you in right in front of Roxas.”

“Okay.”

Axel stood in front of the sending device. Saix rested his finger on the button.

“I’m off the~n!” Waving to Saix, Axel’s figure disappeared.

On Roxas’s “Day 6″, Axel had a very emotional exchange with Saix after looking at the white envelope. He was bonding with Saix just before he attempted to eliminate Roxas. He joked with Saix about it. That sends a very powerful message about the nature of Axel’s feelings for Saix. Axel was emotionally dependent on him. Saix thought Axel didn’t need him anymore, but that simply wasn’t true. He did. It’s obvious to me that the ‘Winner’ stick was meaningful to Axel due to his relationship with Isa more than anyone. That stick was a symbol of Lea’s tears. Yet…it was never even mentioned in KH3. Saix only briefly glanced at it just before he mentioned that Axel’s tear marks were gone. The rest is left to your imagination. 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

“But, I mean…it just didn’t sound like you, Axel.” Xion could barely hold in laughter long enough to get the words out.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

I think it was hinting that Isa originally given him that stick. It was probably so Lea would always remember him, even when he was gone. Lea cried that day. A LOT. Just like Roxas finally shed tears when Xion was gone, leaving behind nothing but the shell. Lea’s feelings for Isa were as powerful as Roxas’s feelings for Xion. 

Axel became numb by the time he became a Nobody. Then he started to grow a heart again. That’s what his entire arc in Days was about. These extremely powerful feelings for Isa got totally ignored in KH3, though. Changing Lea’s arc with Isa robbed him of all his emotional depth. It really, truly did. It hurt his character SO much. Lea had nobody to be vulnerable with. Most people could tell Axel/Lea was handled poorly in KH3, even if they weren’t not sure what exactly was missing.

I chose to disappear because I did not want to become what Xemnas had planned for me. Therefore, I had no regrets. I remember disappearing in front of the clock tower while Roxas held me. Roxas also went to sleep afterwards, leaving Axel alone. The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful.

What was missing was genuine emotion and vulnerability. Lea’s resolution in KH3 needed to be emotional. WAAAAY more emotional than a quick hug with Roxas and Xion, then going back to being comic relief and breaking the fourth wall. He needed to bawl his eyes out. Even in Xion’s Character File, she said he had more pain than her or Roxas. He needed to finally drop his cool big brother exterior and show his pain. Isa needed to be the one to comfort the “crybaby” and let him know he never forgot about him.

Lea needed a lot more from Isa than just him grudgingly admitting he was jealous and dismissively telling him to stop crying. Lea needed a shoulder to cry on. Someone he could show his weakness to. That’s something Roxas and Xion could not offer him. Without that, his character did not really grow in KH3. He remained the same as he was in Days. Static.

I think the whole idea of Lea’s character was changed because it was too “gay”. Square/Disney we’re afraid of a character like Lea. A male character with a powerful emotional arc revolving around the tears he shed for another man. The story of Axel tear drops got dropped like a hot potato in favor of some stupid retcon with Skuld. If Axel had been female, nobody would care about the subplot with Subject X. Everyone would have been clamoring for more details about how and why she got her tear marks.

[gunnerpalace]

▲Aizen and Tsukishima

I already talked about Aizen, and more recently mocked him. There’s this famous quote from the movie All the President’s Men, about Watergate, where Deep Throat says:

Forget the myths the media's created about the White House. The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

That’s Aizen in a nutshell. He is a not-particularly-genius-person’s idea of what a genius would be. My criticism of him would almost exactly parallel my criticism of the terrible movie Limitless (which I would rank among the worst movies ever in the execution of its concept, even if its produced fine enough).

So, Tsukishima. Tsukishima is just a sadistic and narcissistic psychopath. I was at one point planning to write a response to two comments on my biggest fic, and ultimately didn’t, but one of them addresses him and feels appropriate to put in here even if it’s out of context and goes on to other topics (in this continuity, Tsukishima fought Rukia and inserted himself into her past as a confidante; the reader was complaining that Tsukishima didn’t cast himself as her first lover):

The question of whether Tsukishima "reads" or "writes" his targets first is poorly defined and nebulous, but he's not omniscient and has to make a very quick choice in either case, and his standout character traits are his unbridled arrogance and sadism. He "edits" targets lightly at first because if he edits them too "heavily," they break (see: Orihime and Chad), depriving him of fun. Likewise, he seems to generally edit lightly first in general; I would argue it takes time for him to fully comprehend his target enough to truly mess with them (an opportunity that Byakuya deprived him of in canon).

Put simply, I think Tsukishima would look down upon Rukia enough to both treat her as an unknown variable, and to underestimate her. I would also say that going for such an egregious departure from her past would be too much to "take" quickly or well, and is likewise out of character for him to use; it is too much for "so pathetic" a target, and for him would be taking her too seriously out of the gate. (Again: see how he underestimated and failed to understand Byakuya.)

As to the Fullbringers, they're not particularly interesting to me, no. They're little better than any of the villains introduced in the movies. I feel the fights of the Lost Substitute Shinigami arc were fine, in broad outlines, but it was precisely the "lots of confusion" part of that arc that was incredibly stupid, given Soul Society massively outnumbered them and knew about Tsukishima's powers (even if they didn't take them seriously; itself stupid) which were, in turn, the only thing holding the Fullbringers up. The Urahara Shop by itself, let alone bringing in Soul Society or even the Visored, should have cleaned them up in an afternoon. It was only the incredibly contrived horror scenario engineered by the author—manifested in the out of character negligence and inaction on the part of all other characters—that permitted them free action. (This was most boldly and damningly manifested in Isshin, formerly always a doting father to Karin and Yuzu, not giving a damn that Tsukishima got to them.) Concerning Ichigo, he's raring to go, so he decided to do exactly that, even if he was ultimately too underpowered to do it immediately.

I treat Xcution as a speedbump because they were never qualified to be anything more than that, and indeed, weren't in canon anyway. What I've dispensed with is giving them screen-time, both because they don't really matter and because almost everything they did in canon has already happened; they're worth invoking for their impact upon the main characters, but not worth dwelling on. (And that impact is largely embodied in their deaths; the fact that all the horrors of Tsukishima were erased after the arc [a point Ichigo himself noted to Shinji] simply reinforces this point. It was almost "all a dream," as it was. Of course, this was even further undermined by those who died wandering around in Soul Society...)

The two biggest sins of the LSS arc were that it was dumb and contrived, and that it had no lasting consequences. In my view, I have removed both elements, and done so compactly. To put it succinctly, The Point™ was not to have a horror or divided allegiances plot, or to dwell upon Xcution as characters; it was for Ginjō and Tsukishima to die at Ichigo and Rukia's hands for them to come to grips with having killed, as they expressed they would in chapters 20–21. I find that much more interesting than something that gets ex post facto reverted to status quo ante. Whether you think it works in that capacity or not is a different question, but that was always my goal.

(It’s also stated Tsukishima can’t just invent memories wholesale, seemingly; he has to overwrite someone. In the case of Rukia, the useful choices are Ichigo, Kaien, Byakuya, and Renji. It becomes hard to imagine that taking quickly when one is dead, and in this case two were right there. He seemed to have overwrote Sora and Ichigo for Orihime, and Ichigo for Chad? But there was again a long “development” time for that to take. So his powers are just kind of weird and the rules for them don’t seem well-developed.)

tl;dr Tsukishima is basically just like, a Patrick Bateman from American Psycho expy in Bleach? He’s flat, boring, and one-note. His power is sort of interesting, but it’s completely wasted on someone so utterly predictable.

The way it was used in TYBW was also Fucking. Stupid.

[chikoriita]

On My Mind

Here is my contribution for SoKai Day 2019! Also dedicated to @floralianspiderboynova​, who requested this a while ago (sorry it’s so late!)

Read on AO3.org

--

Ah, Radiant Garden. Her one last chance at refuge. Kairi only hoped that this was her safe harbor. In the last 12 hours, she was cornered at home and run out of her own house on Destiny Islands. Then, they chased her to Twilight Town and beyond.They would not let her live in peace, would they? She hurried along the outer edges of the borough. The others might not be able to find her here. With the reconstruction of the neighborhoods, Radiant Garden was a sprawling metropolis. If only for a few moments, she could rest easy.

This was, as usual, Sora’s fault. He had to open his big mouth and tell his brothers and sister about the bet. She never should have taken the dare in the first place. How was she to know that Sora could swim farther than her now? If she knew, then maybe she wouldn’t have taken such a silly forfeit. It was supposed to end with Sora dying his hair pink. Instead now, she had to do the unthinkable.

Kairi would have to ride a horse. Not just any horse, but a Pegaslick. Riku, who had been their judge for their contest, said that it had wings. So now, because of her shortsightedness, lest she go back on her word, she was doomed to ride a horse, the one animal in the worlds she could not stand.

Then he had to get the others involved; the others being Roxas, Xion, and Naminé.

“You know Kairi,” Naminéstarted at lunch the other day. “It’s not good to go back on your word. Sora won the bet fair and square, according to Riku. Just fulfill the forfeit, and we can move on.”

Kairi’s jaw dropped. Her own sister was betraying her. “Naminé!” She gasped. “You were once a part of me, and you’re taking his side?”

She shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah!” A voice piped up from outside the window. Kairi peeked her head outside to find Roxas and Xion crouching in the bushes.

“What are you two doing spying on our conversation?” Kairi was both confused and frustrated.

Xion waved sheepishly. “Sora wanted to remind you that you have until tonight to pay up.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“But he was too scared to tell you, so we decided to help,” Roxas said.

Kairi let out a small growl. “I am not going to let the three of you pester me into the forfeit.” She fled her parents home, leaving the three former Nobodies running after her. She ran until she reached her Gummiship. It was far beyond her old rowboat, and for that she was thankful. Her little boat wouldn’t get her beyond their reach.

And so the three had followed her to Twilight Town, the Mysterious Tower, and even Disney Castle! She thought that King Mickey would at least take her side, but he apparently did not judge in matters of wagers and bets.

“Kairi, you should always pay your debts,” he said softly to her during her stolen hour at the castle. She resisted making a face as she escaped (and not a moment too soon as Roxas’s Gummi landed as hers departed).

All the running and fleeing brought her here of all places. Radiant Garden, the same place Sora asked her to meet him. He requested at the Bastion steps for the ride. He said he would wait until the end of day for her, which meant she had a at least an hour or two to think about her decision. She sat on the perch of one of the fountains and closed her eyes. This was as good a place as any to think.

The ring of her Gummiphone knocked her out of her reverie. Riku’s name flashed on the screen. She quickly accepted the call and pasted on a wide smile.

“Riku!” She saw his Gummiship cockpit. He probably had the phone docked on his ship controls.

“Why did I get a call from the King to check up on you?” He asked. “Is everything okay?”

Oh that mouse, Kairi thought. She was going to have a talk with the Queen about his meddling. “The kids will not leave me alone! They keep pestering me about the bet.” She jumped off her perch and walked toward the Bastion. Not because she accepted her defeat. She just wanted to stretch her legs.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You mean this is all about the bet? The one that you lost?”

“You don’t have to remind me,” she sulked.

“What do you have against horses anyway?”

“I once saw a horse beat a clown.”

Riku made a face. “Really?”

Kairi shrugged. “It was probably a man in a costume, now that I think about it. Still, I just don’t like them.”

“That’s a shame. Sora really got close to his Pegaslick when we were in the Sleeping Worlds.”

“They are killing machines, and you know it.”

He laughed heartily. “This coming from the girl that jumped into a swarm of Heartless to save Sora.”

A harsh chuckle came from off screen. “Is that Kairi? Tell her to pay up! My brother is waiting.” She heard Vanitas’s voice chime in.

Kairi rolled her eyes. “Tell him to stuff it.”

“Okay, I gotta go. See you soon, Kai.” Riku waved her off and ended the call.

“See you soon?” Kairi repeated. What did he mean by that? She looked up from the screen to find herself at the bottom of the steps. After focusing, she saw Sora waving down at her from the top.

“Eep!” She spun around to avoid looking at him. True to his promise, he had the Pegaslick with him. The winged horse was bright and awash with various colors and stood vividly against the bricks of the castle. She didn’t have to look at Sora to know that he didn’t expect anything from her. Even if she did owe him the forfeit, he would never force her to do anything. She knew that in her heart, and maybe that is why she took the first step up towards him. The remaining steps did not register as they were only a means to get to Sora.

Kairi stopped a bit short of Sora and hesitated. “Hi,” she finally said with a small wave.

“You made it!” He exclaimed, then sobered. “I’m sorry for all of our siblings’ nuisances. You didn’t have to put up with them.”

Truth be told, though it was annoying during the moment, Kairi appreciated the feeling of having pesky family members today. After all, didn’t it mean that they cared about them? Even crotchety old Vanitas wanted to help in his own way.

She reached out to take his hand. “I was the stubborn one. I should’ve just faced my fears.” She threaded her fingers with his.

“I just thought it would be…” He trailed off quietly and turned his head.

Kairi pulls it back toward her. “Would be what?”

“Romantic.” He blushed. Blush was an understatement, truly. His entire face was red. “It’s our anniversary, you know.”

“Our what?” Kairi nearly squawked as he tugged her closer.

His lips lifted into a sly smirk. “Don’t tell me you forgot,” He teased. “One year ago, we shared the paopu fruit.”

Had it really been a year since that moment in the sunset? “It’s been a hectic year.”

“You said you wanted to be part of my life no matter what. It worked; you’re always on my mind. Without you, I don’t think I could have faced my fears, then or now. Tonight, I wanted to help you face one of yours.” Sora petted the Pegaslick with his free hand. “Want to face it together?”

Kairi looked at their joined hands and thought about it. No matter how small of a matter it may seem, this Dream Eater was part of Sora’s life as well. Contrary to how she acted these last few days, Kairi did not go back on her word. No matter what. “Let’s do it.”

Sora’s eyes met hers. “Really?!” He said gleefully.

“Do not push your luck, Sora.” She moved closer to the Pegaslick. “How do we do this?”

He grabbed her by the waist (don’t blush Kairi, do not blush!) and placed her on the makeshift saddle he arranged. “Hold on,” he instructed as he climbed on behind her. Sora placed her hands on the reins and closed his left hand around hers.

“Are you ready?” He whispered.

She scrunched her eyes closed and nodded.With his right arm tightened like a bar against her waist, he gave a small kick, and they lifted off.

Kairi felt the air rushing past her ears as they ascended into the sky. After a few moments, they slowed down and stabilized. She cracked one eye open and gasped. When she opened both eyes, she saw the second most beautiful sunset of her life. They glided above pink and orange clouds, seemingly in their own world.

“How majestic,” she whispered, settling back against Sora’s chest.

He let out a deep breath, one he must have held since they took off moments before. “I promised myself that one day I would take you flying with me. Granted, it’s not the same as pixie dust-” She interrupted him. “It’s even better.” The serenity of experiencing twilight with him was incomparable, whether or not they needed help flying.

“Even though we are on a horse?” Sora asked in a slight tease. She nudged him with her elbow. The Pegaslick wasn’t as bad as she imagined. It was a serene creature, neighing periodically.

Kairi didn’t answer him, and instead, focused on the rays of sunset fading into the horizon. Night would soon follow. Sora circled the castle’s highest parapet three times before beginning their descent.

“We’re done already?”

He chuckled. “Just one more surprise.” He maneuvered the Pegaslick onto a balcony on the parapet where a picnic blanket awaited them. He slid off the Dream Eater and lifted Kairi off deftly.

“Now admire the view from up here while I explain a few things.” Kairi leaned against the balcony railing and watched as the neighborhoods below transitioned into the evening. During twilight’s final moments, street lamps lit the streets snaking through the city. Night markets began trading their wares. Radiant Garden was once again the booming world it once was.

“I’ve told you about Rapunzel right?” Kairi nodded slightly. Her story hit very close to home. The only difference was that Rapunzel’s parents looked for her for all these years while Kairi’s family was nowhere to be found.

“Well, they found her by sending out lanterns every year on her birthday. She found her way back to them by following the light.” Sora came to her side with a glowing paper lantern in his hands.

“Sora…” Kairi didn’t know what to say.

“We’ve been separated so many times in our lives. We didn’t need lanterns to find each other before. But maybe, we could spin the tradition our own way.” He placed the lantern in her hand. “This lantern will be our reminder that there is always a light in the darkness to guide us. You already did it for me. Now let me be your light.”

A tear streamed down her cheek. “Oh, Sora. You already are.” With both their hands, they lifted the lone lantern into the night sky. For a single moment, it bounced against the breeze and lit up against the darkness. In the next moment, a second lantern lifted up from another part of the castle. Kairi looked down to see Roxas, Xion, and Naminé on a balcony. Another lantern floated up from their left. Was that Riku’s silver hair she spied on another balcony? She couldn’t trust her eyes because it seemed like he had both Ventus and Vanitas lifting up lanterns together. Before she knew it, hundreds of glowing lanterns lifted up from the city below them.

“What is all of this?” Kairi asked softly.

Sora lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “Our destinies are intertwined and with them, our family. They all helped me pull off this night.”

“Ah, so you are to blame for their pestering!” She poked him on the cheek.

He grinned. “Guilty.”

“Well, you’re simply lucky that I like them.” She looped her arms around his neck and placed a small kiss on his nose. “And I really like you.”

[hadai]

Always on my Mind

Another RokuNami fanart/fanfic collab!  Since our first little team-up worked out well, my friend and I decided to do it again!  Hope you all enjoy it!

Fanfic by: @rapis-razuri Fanart by: Me 

The Destiny Islands of Sora’s heart had changed from day to dusk, something Roxas didn’t mind so much as the reason behind it. It was a nice reminder of the place he called home, even if the view of the sunset from Sora’s favorite tree wasn’t the same as that from the top of the clocktower.

The innermost sanctum of Sora’s heart was still calm and still peaceful. And despite the solitude, Roxas never felt that he was truly alone. It was a good place to sleep as any, but for the first time since returning to Sora, Roxas stirred.

“...been ages...”

It only took a moment to realize where Sora was.

Twilight Town.

Sora was in Twilight Town.

Hayner. Pence. Olette.

Roxas knew his memories of their friendship had been fake, but they were memories he nonetheless held dear. He still considered the three of them his friends as much as Axel was, but has long accepted the aching possibility that he was still a stranger to them in the real world.

“...looking for Roxas…”

Roxas flickered a smile. Of course something like nearly becoming one of Xehanort’s Seekers wouldn’t be enough to stop Sora from following up on that matter in the waking world. His Other was a determined guy.

“Yeah. He is.”

When this sojourn came to an end, Roxas felt himself starting to drift off again, but something within him - his heart - said no. He knew where Sora was going and he wanted to see that place again, just one more time.

The old mansion had come to mean something to him. When he was first born before its gates, he’d been too much of a  zombie to feel anything about the place. During his days in the Organization, it had been a location of interest in the world, but he didn’t spare much thought for it beyond that. From his memories in the other Twilight Town, he remembered finding it mysterious, but Roxas was never unnerved by it as his friends were.

Now there were many words he would use to describe the old mansion, but “creepy” was not one of them. Not anymore. Not when…

Roxas (Sora?) looked towards the second story window on the left.

That room meant something to Roxas. The girl in white who once occupied that room meant something to Roxas.

She always seemed to be just out of reach, no matter how hard he chased. It began as a chase for answers, but somewhere, somehow, that changed.

Roxas had left the Organization bitter, disillusioned, and feuding with his best friend. He’d been furious and grieving when he fought Riku. His summer vacation had been a relief compared to the days that preceded it, but even then Roxas could not leave behind the need for answers that drove him to leave the only life he ever known.

Whether she knew it or not, Naminé had helped him pick up the pieces. Roxas didn’t hate her for saying the things she did. How could he, when the fate she spoke of was also the fate she believed was her’s? He wondered if she ever tried to fight it and if she had, what made her give in and resign to it? Fading back into darkness sounded like such a lonely fate. Roxas tasted loneliness when he fought with Axel and again on the last day of his summer vacation. How did she bear it, all on her own?

Because their fate had not been an easy one to accept, let alone to make peace with. Roxas was only able to do so by confronting Sora, but it was Naminé who made sure he wasn’t alone when he did.

They were lucky, to be able to meet their original selves. Luckier still that Sora and Kairi were the kind of people who would promise to be together so Roxas and Naminé could too.

He couldn’t deny that being with her had been one definitive silver lining in this situation, but…

So much for “every day,” guys…

Roxas didn’t blame Sora and Kairi though. It wasn’t their fault they were once again separated by circumstances beyond their control. It was just that moments like this reminded Roxas that he and Naminé weren’t together like they promised.

The curtain flapped. It was easy to imagine her standing there on the other side of the glass. He visited this place many times before on missions. Did she ever look out her window and see him with his keyblade and in his black coat? He thought of her in her empty white room, sitting at that long white table with no one across from her, and sketching Sora’s memories back together…

If Sora could do it… If Sora could find a way for them to be their own people, then they wouldn’t have to rely on him and Kairi to be together anymore, would they?

The thought made him giddy with happiness. Being able to actually see her instead of flashes of blonde hair in the corner of his eyes. Hearing her voice again and actually talking to her... If he could speak to her now, what would he tell her?

Sora’s trying to bring me back. He even got Hayner, Pence and Olette involved in all this. All for my sake. Is there someone out there who wants to see you again just as badly?

He hoped so. Roxas didn’t know what her past was like before she met him, but he hoped there was someone out there in all the worlds who cared about her, who missed her, and who wanted to see her again as much as Hayner, Pence and Olette cared about, missed, and wanted to see him.

That was when Sora jolted out of the daze Roxas had unintentionally pulled him into. Knowing his time was up, Roxas reluctantly let go of the waking world and allowed the distant sound of waves to lull him to sleep again.

I miss you, Naminé. Let’s meet again someday soon. Like we promised. Okay?

[princesskairi]

Potentially minor, nitpicky criticism to a small section of the Sleeping Realm Theory Doc. Note: This criticism has nothing to do with ship wars (at least that’s the intention!) as the doc has nothing to do with ship wars too.

This is referring to the doc’s analysis of the scene where Kairi and Sora reunite in the light tunnel under the section Riku is Light -> Light in the Darkness. Read more underneath.

————————–

My biggest criticism in this analysis is how it presents Kairi and her importance to Sora in conjunction with Riku. This criticism also calls into question some of the claims used to debunk Kairi as being the light in the tunnel.

To start off, it’s not that I dislike the suggestion that Riku is the light in that scene, it’s that to then follow up and say that Kairi is off to the side then moves and “eclipses” that light from Sora’s view is risky framing whether intentional or not. 

While it might not be the writers’ intentions, it’s dangerous to paint that scene that way without further warning/clarification as it can easily fall into the toxic rhetoric that Kairi is in the way of Sora’s realization about Riku (unfortunately, something that is not uncommon in fanon). It takes a scene that is largely meant to display Kairi’s strength and resolve to protect Sora and shifts its focal point to Sora’s thoughts about Riku, which I feel is rather unfair to one of Kairi’s few spotlights in KH3.

The light can very well be Riku’s in that scene (considering the whole “Riku! Answer me!” analysis), but to present Kairi as “eclipsing” that light, leading readers to pick up a double meaning, and then to say that it is never Sora himself that figures she is his light severely downplays Kairi’s real significance to Sora and how he views her. If it is the case that Nomura intended to have double meaning in Kairi eclipsing the light and mislead the audience to think that she is the light by having Sora claim that she is, then of course my anger would be directed towards him alone. 

The part where the writers bring up a screenshot of Namine telling Sora that Kairi’s his light to emphasize that Sora does not figure it out himself is out of fair play. It’s taken out of context. Namine explicitly tells Sora that because she’s been messing with his memories up to that point. She guides and allows Sora to remember for himself that important connection before putting him to sleep to fix his faulty memories. Even if Namine doesn’t tell Sora that, there is no doubt Sora believes it himself. In fact, Sora has already since equated Kairi to light in KH1 (before Namine reinforces it to him) in his speech with Kairi in Traverse Town. He tells Kairi that it was her voice that saved him from the darkness. When Kairi responds that she didn’t want to forget about him, it is Sora that goes “That’s it! Our hearts are connected and the light from our hearts broke through the darkness. I saw that light.” With the prior context, that’s basically Sora figuring out for himself that “that light” was Kairi’s and the same concepts can be applied to reach and save Riku too. Also, Sora does explicitly conclude on his own in KH3 to Kairi that, “The light in the darkness. It is you”. It’s strange why the narrative that Sora is being misled to think Kairi’s his light (i.e. simply told by others) has to be included to further emphasize the idea that Riku is Sora’s light (esp. when there’s plenty of evidence that Riku is Sora’s light without needing to reevaluate Kairi-centric scenes and call to question Sora’s own revelations about her)? 

————————–

Quote from the doc:

“And so ask yourself this, how is Kairi supposed to be following her own light back?”

Following the same logic, in KH1, how does Kairi, who at the time resides in Sora, also follow the light back to her flashback of her grandmother? Not only that, after her heart is restored to her own body, she tells Sora in Traverse Town, “A light at the end of the tunnel” to which he responds “Oh, your grandma's story right?” and she responds back, “That’s right, we were together”. This shows that Kairi too can in essence “follow her own light back” or at the very least experience that light from an outside perspective. But to leave it open, perhaps this ability is due to the weird oddities from her being in Sora’s body? Or a bolder take is that the light is actually Kairi’s grandmother’s light this entire time! lol! (I highly doubt that this was the intent but who knows! Unless past interviews/Ultimanias can shed some light.) In any case, before one can disprove Kairi being the light on this basis, one needs to also explain this contradiction (considering the doc makes a point that this kh1 scene is meant to be Kairi’s light).

Passage from the doc:

“And if this scene were truly meant to be taken at face value, why do we get these specific visions, inexplicably in the middle of it. Sudden visions of self sacrifice, both referred to as True Love and the reviving power it has. Except, neither Kairi or Sora had sacrificed themselves for just each other at this point, Sora tries to shield her (an act that read as surprisingly desperate and hopeless for the first sign of danger she faced, like he—his heart, remembered she was going to die in this battle no matter what) but Goofy blocked the attack and nothing came of it. And most importantly for all the danger she’s in, none of Kairi’s scenes read as self sacrificial, they read as resigned.”

As for the Disney visions, I do believe that the general takeaway was meant for Sora equating feelings of self-sacrifice, love, and care to his own situation. I do not believe it is exclusively meant for Riku and I do not believe that Kairi can not be equated to these scenes just on the merit that there is no direct self-sacrificial parallel of them in KH3 up to that point. One can argue that even if Goofy came to protect them, that doesn’t lessen the impact that Sora was ready to sacrifice his own danger for Kairi.

In any case, if self-sacrifice is a needed component to link these Disney scenes to someone then Kairi and Sora also have their share as do Sora and Riku. In KH1, Sora sacrifices himself to revive Kairi because of his love for her like how Eugene sacrifices himself for Rapunzel and Anna sacrifices herself for Elsa. Elsa and Rapunzel bring Anna and Eugene back due to their love for them. Same thing happens on Kairi’s end. While Kairi is made of pure light and has no immediate danger in getting pummeled by heartless when she hugs heartless Sora, she herself doesn’t know that she wouldn’t be in danger. That scene could be still interpreted as sacrificial to an extent. Kairi sacrifices her own danger to revive Sora with the power of her light and love for him. Same with Riku, he’s sacrificed himself plenty times for Sora out of his love for him throughout the franchise. These actions are still seen as sacrificial in nature despite Riku not actually dying at the end of it. Riku’s sacrifice (i.e. demon tide) is more recent, so these visions may better equate to Riku esp. with Sora remembering Riku when talking to Anna and others, but considering that this scene is about Sora and Kairi reuniting and Sora showing gratitude towards Kairi, it’s not fair to write Kairi off as not a trigger for these Disney scenes as well.

“This light, that Sora assumes is Kairi, but which she never confirms or denies, a light that led him to Riku’s heart originally. This light begins showing him these scenes of self sacrifice, and Sora makes a confused, jerking motion. And in reaction, Kairi is also confused. Which is weird considering if she’s the light, she would be the one showing him these visions in the first place, right?“

This isn’t quite a fair take. It’s impossible for Kairi to show these visions to Sora as she was not present when those scenes occurred. The same logic should apply to Riku. He was not present when those scenes occurred; he would not be able to show these visions either. So what gives? I don’t believe these visions are being shown to Sora rather Sora is literally remembering these scenes himself and equating them to what he feels right now in his own situation. He jerks up, which causes Kairi to be confused bc she simply can’t know what’s up with Sora’s reaction even if she is able to somehow show these visions herself. She checks to see if Sora’s okay and when she sees that he is, she states, “I told you Sora. You’re safe with me”. 

If what was really meant was that “Riku is the light in the tunnel -> Riku’s light embodies Riku’s self sacrifice, which in turn causes Sora to connect it with his own memories in the Disney worlds” then that’s a different thing and totally valid but was not presented that way in the doc. I also feel that Sora isn’t confused rather in a state of realization and coming back to reality after these visions, which explains why he’s a bit shaken up/disoriented at first with his “Ooh”. Regardless of whose light it is, I firmly believe it is Sora making these connections for himself and not the light showing them for him. Bc of this interpretation, the theory that “Kairi is the light” or “Riku is the light” is not necessarily disproven or illogical on the basis that neither one has been there to experience these Disney scenes. This is different from when the light shows Kairi’s Radiant Garden memories to Sora and is not a perfect parallel but does not need to be.

All in all, Riku’s love for Sora is integral to understand the sacrifices made to facilitate the “drops” and bring everyone to a new worldline, but I personally feel that this specific analysis of Kairi and Sora’s scene does not need to be presented in a way that makes Kairi seem like a misleading device for both Sora and the audience to realize Riku’s love/light. There is no need to disregard Kairi and Sora’s potential connection with the Disney scenes rather than simply show that these scenes are strongly attributed to Riku. There is no need to treat Sora as if he cannot or doesn’t accurately conclude what light means for himself.

I hope my criticism for this specific section does not come off as mean-spirited and I do not want this to be a playground to incite s/hipping wars either bc it’s not even about ships. To make it extremely clear, my criticism does not have to do with ships NOR do I think the theory doc is trying to force a ship onto people either. The word “love” can be interpreted however way you want: romantic, platonic, whatever. I do think that the writers were a bit too quick to dismiss Kairi as the light in this scene and that there was an over emphasis towards Riku in a scene meant to establish Kairi’s importance and I wanted to address that. If it is misreading on my part, feel free to discuss! I don’t want to put words into other people’s mouths. I am open to critique too. This one criticism doesn’t negate all the other interesting insights the doc makes. The doc as a whole is an interesting read and I offer nothing but support and thanks to those involved in the process. 

And who knows, maybe Nomura will come out and confirm that this portion of the doc is right! Then jokes on me but until then, I believe this criticism holds fair.

[angelspigeon]

Moar angst? Maybe with a happy ending. Saix is dying in Lea's arms and he doesn't know whether or not he will come back. He tries to tell himself it's okay because Lea has found true friends that will make him happy, but Saix doesn't want to go because he also wants to be reunited.

Hi!!

YES ANGST!!!

Your angst was something I actually headcanon and needed to write for the vol 02 of my fanbook so THANK YOU!!! I finally got the occasion to write it down!!!

Maybe I got a bit carried away? I put in a lot of others relationship (and piece of a fanfic I couldn’t post but filled with headcanons) so I hope this will please you anyway!!

I won’t post it on AO3 because I think I will need to rework it a bit and just throw it in my fanbook later ya know so no AO3 door BUT those 3 205 words are all for you!!!

 When he died, it seemed to be the right thing…

Dying, be with Lea in Kingdom Hearts. Forever. Being by Lea’s side… It was the dream. The only thing he really wanted.

So why was he there? Why was he listening to Xemnas’ nonsense… again?

Why…

He hated every of his ideas. He hated the sound of his voice. He hated…

“Moony?!”

A hand moved in front of Isa’s eyes. No… Saïx. He hadn’t the luxury to be Isa. Isa was something lost, forgotten… He didn’t think he could only come back that child. He wasn’t sure he wanted. The name they called him had just really little importance when he was by Lea’s side…

The thing was that… he wasn’t in Lea’s side.

So Saïx looked up at Xigbar who had moved his hand in front of him.

“You’re with us?” he asked.

Was it being with them like sharing their view of what they will do, the conquest of the Worlds, or listening to them?

“I am,” he replied.

“Yeah… It didn’t seem so. But if you’re in! Come on! We need to find more friends! Or… how do you say when you use them, whatever if they are killed or not, in the end?”

“Object?”

“Yes! We need to find more living object!” Xigbar said. “Xemnas wants lot of them.”

“What will happen to us?”  he asked.

“You really want to know?”

He had something in his tone. Something telling that, exceptionally, he cared.

“Am I the kind of people who would waste his saliva?” Saïx wondered.

“You’re doing it, there. And every time you speak to me,” Xigbar smirked. “Though… Honestly?” he said with a grave and dull face. “Don’t expect to life old.”

“This doesn’t afraid you?”

Xigbar shook his head.

“No! Surely don’t! I’m a big boy and I will do great! But you…” Xigbar grabbed Saïx’s cheek, pressing them between his hands. “… I know you. Don’t die too fast, ‘kay?”

Saïx nodded.

But he didn’t know.

This battle was forcing them to walk on a path so different from Lea’s. And if he had to be against him?

He wasn’t made for that.

He had intertwined his life with him and could accept to be on a different path of him but he couldn’t accept to hurt him.

Even one second…

Though… giving up on his life to avoid hurting him… wouldn’t it hurt him even more? If Lea had forgotten him, that would be the worst for him because he wished to always live at least in his memories, but wouldn’t it be better?

For everybody.

  The sound of the pen against the paper was reverberating in the room.

As always, Saïx had to be there, helping Xemnas with the things he thought useless. Keeping order in his thoughts was his work. It was annoying. But it helped. He had managed to climb all the stairs to finally arrive there. He had the confidence of his Chief, one of the most important members of the new Organization, and he had access to every of his plan…

Of the whole Organization plans.

Like the last time, he had every way to destroy everything he wanted at default to success what he wished the most.

He couldn’t access this.

He was unable to do what he wanted.

His only wishes, at this exact moment… was to make sure Lea could be happy. If his life was about to end… Of course, it was about to end. Any Xehanort really thought they could win? When they have so many powerful people against them? And no one in their side…

And what he expected…

“We could use the Replicas…”

“The Replicas, Sir, are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Xemnas walked toward Saïx. “We don’t have the time to convince people to follow our lead but we can bring back people sharing our ideas. This would offer us an opportunity to win over the Light. Especially because, as for you, I can trust them.”

Saïx looked down on the papers he had. Every information needed stocked and stacked just right in front of his eyes. They had gathered a few members. Xigbar, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene… him, of course. This was showing a little obsession of the man. And, yes, Saïx could understand the need to turn back even more toward trustable people. Another past, because it was obvious Axel… Lea, wouldn’t come back and Roxas couldn’t come back. Yet… it wasn’t impossible.

But…

People were missing.

A lot of them.

They needed Replicas.

To fill what was missing and, as Saïx was passing through those who could complete the equation…

“My Lord… Do you remember that puppet we used to have with us? Xion.”

She wasn’t supposed to vanish from memories. It wouldn’t follow Vexen’s plans. He wanted his work to be remembered! Lot of those who saw her just didn’t care much about her and the others… Axel… Saïx begged for make it vanish from his memories. To protect him from everything. He had lost Roxas, he couldn’t lose more… suffer.

He knew he was doing mistakes but they have the way for that.

But now… Now, Axel, or Lea, couldn’t forget something. Not completely and he knew… He knew he would remember her one day. He knew he hadn’t forgotten her for real…

“You want us to use this puppet?”

Saïx nodded. “If we managed to have Vexen by our side, we could have Replicas and he would bring her back. She owns a Keyblade so she is fitting the role more than… me, for example,” he said.

“You own a part of me since so longtime, I think you perfectly fit the role. Anyway, if this idea seems interesting… Will Vexen accept to join us?”

“I can convince him, if you allow me to try, Sir,” Saïx offered.

“Very well.”

“Thank you,” his Second replied, bowing in front of him.

  Saïx couldn’t understand how Vexen had accepted to let go on his Humanity for the sake of the plans. He didn’t understand how he could abandon his Heart… But he did it. Only to fulfil their goals. His goal. Vexen wanted to have his revenge, to redeem himself… next to his son, Ienzo.

For that, he needed to step in the Devil’s Lair and give them a bit of what they wanted.

Only to fulfill his desire.

They all were ready to make sacrifice.

Saïx was ready for them to.

All of them…

“What will you do when the moment will arrive?”

Vexen didn’t look up when he heard the question behind him. For now, they were eleven. And they will be, certainly, thirteen when Xion will be made. But Saïx didn’t want her to share his fate. Maybe she could overgrow this. Maybe he could find someone else to replace her. Even if it has to be Sora? Unless Lea had affection for him?

He… he didn’t care about disappearing. He didn’t think Lea would really miss him. He didn’t think he still deserved Lea’s love but… Vexen?

“I’m the one who create the Replicas. I don’t think I risk anything,” Vexen said. “I will make sure they are enough so I don’t have to fight and die.”

“But what will you do for…”

Saïx showed his eyes.

Vexen smirked. “I can live with that. Maybe it will disappear when everything will be done, though. I’ll see.”

“I see…” Saïx whispered.

“When will you be done with…”

The door opened. Saïx immediately went quiet. But his eyes widened.

It wasn’t that surprising to see Xigbar, even if he had that smile.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

But what he had under his arm…

“Hi, Saïx!”

Just in front of his eyes, Demyx was waving his hand.

Vexen had nothing to do with this discussion. He had so many works left to finish with Xion. And the Replica for Roxas. He needed Xemnas for Xion but for Roxas, they only needed Sora. And so, this will bring more difficulties in all of this.

“We’re trying to have enough Replica for the Darkness’ plans. What Demyx is doing here?”

“I couldn’t stay dead and away from you!! I couldn’t believe it when I was alive! But couldn’t reach to you! I’m so sorry. I should have come back to you. But it was hard to know if I was welcome?”

“Of course, you were,” Saïx replied.

Why not? Except the creeping fear that he would be killed again by the Light… Creeping fear becoming worst again  when he noticed Demyx’s eyes…

Yellow.

“Enough Replicas, uh?” Xigbar asked as he walked toward the inanimate puppet.

“It’s going to be big,” Vexen replied. “Everything we can wish for and more!”

“I wish a lot of things!” Xigbar smirked. He moved his arm away from Demyx and approached the Replica, only to turn toward Saïx and press his cheeks between his hands. “I wish you make him smile.”

“I never said I can do Miracles,” Vexen replied.

Saïx frowned even more.

Demyx jogged to Saïx, hugging him.

It was just the shadow of a smile, but he managed to make the Second-in-Command smile anyway.

Very few where those who knew the affection Saïx had for Demyx. He always seemed to hate him, not care at all, and even despised his presence. But that didn’t mean it was what he truly thought. When you were someone as important as him, it was crucial not to show your true feelings.

Lea, Axel, seemed already to be an easy target. But Demyx… he always frightened that it would be an easier target…

At this exact moment, he preferred not to think about that. He preferred looking at that Replica and hope. Hope that it meant everything will be alright…

  In his bedroom, Saïx was laying on the mattress. He didn’t need to sleep but sometimes, he didn’t want to work…

He heard a sound at his door and turned his head, not welcoming anyone though. Either that person will leave, either it was someone who will enter anyway so… he preferred to be quiet, to let the thoughts swirl in his head and invaded him.

The door opened.

“Hey, Saïx, can I come?”

“Even if I say ‘no’, you will.”

“Right!”

The door closed and, just a few seconds after, he could feel a body against his. He moved his arm so he could lightly embrace the one who was snuggling against him as if he wasn’t a living threat…

“You don’t mind, right?”

Saïx moved his head toward Demyx. As if it was really the kind of things he would worry about… Demyx had a Heart filled with light and Saïx often wondered how he could have been with them. As much as for Roxas, probably.

Roxas…

Saïx wondered if they could success…

“Can I say something to you?” Demyx asked.

Saïx nodded slightly in the Darkness of the room.

“I was surprised when Xiggy mentioned you. I heard Lea joined the Light and… I thought he was the love of your live…”

“I don’t have the luxury to choose,” Saïx replied. “I’m only waiting for…”

He closed his eyes. There were two wolves within him. One still had hope and the other was less idiot and know the truth.

“You can wait for him with me,” Demyx smiled, trying to cheer him up.

“And if he doesn’t find me?”

“More time together!!” the boy burst with joy.

Saïx clamped his hand on his belly. Demyx bit his lower lip, seeing this, and hugging him tightly.

“Please, don’t think about this,” he said in the hollow of his ear. “You’re doing really fine.”

“Thank you…”

Those words Demyx had said to him wasn’t something Saïx was used to hear. At least not without being like a bone throw at a dog…

“Do you want something?” Demyx offered.

“No. It’s fine,” Saïx replied.

“Tell me if you need anything.”

Saïx wasn’t surprised the boy tried to do so much for him. He almost expected Demyx to propose him to play music for him… Thank God, he didn’t. Though Saïx could remember the time where his music was the only thing he could bore. And when he was so desperate because Demyx disappeared and there was no more music in The World That Never Was. Because their empty lives were even more empty. Because he felt so left alone…

Even Xigbar tried to cheer him up but everything had shattered, little by little when Axel left them. Left him.

And after that… he was just taking the longest road to his own Doom. This was supposed to be his salvation and now…

Somehow, he was happy to be there because he really liked Demyx even if he didn’t show it much. He really had been with him in the hard time when his whole existence had shattered, piece by piece. When he needed to grab on something and the Promise on Kingdom Hearts became less sure, when his hate was so strong… Without Demyx and Xigbar, he didn’t know what he would have become.

So… being there, being with Demyx once again finally… wasn’t it the most logical end?

  A few months before, for the sake of Axel, Saïx had hoped this puppet will never move anymore.

Now, for the sake of Lea, Saïx hoped this puppet will move…

Vexen had no fear for a random Replica and he swore that, as soon as Roxas will touch his Heart, he will be complete again. In a Replica, yes, but he would be there and his own being. As he always had been. He could live his life as he deserved it.

But for the puppet here…

Saïx walked like a wolf in a cage, waiting.

“Will you be able to do it for Naminé, too?” he wondered.

“Yes,” Vexen replied, fixing the last details to call back Xion.

He had very little information about her and her own being was so strange. It was more difficult.

“I will manage to have you pushed on the side but make sure it will be the same for Demyx. I will give you the opportunity to leave and do what you want. Don’t fail on me.”

“Silence, Saïx,” Vexen said.

Saïx folded his arms.

“You want to redeem yourself, I want it too. You will have what you want and so me too,” the scientist said to him.

“I don’t want to redeem myself,” Saïx replied.

It was only selfish.

In fact, Vexen could understand it too. They weren’t that different. But Xemnas wasn’t that different than them neither…

Saïx kept walking, glancing at the puppet.

He stopped.

Her fingers had moved.

He saw them move. Just at the right instant…

He approached the table with hope.

Vexen ignored him. Ignored her.

“Xion?” Saïx called.

The hand moved. A relieve bathed Saïx. Roxas and Xion will be there soon… Once this will be done…

“One last thing,” Vexen said.

“Yes?”

Saïx wasn’t looking toward him because Xion was sitting just in front of him.

“She will not be Xion as you remember her until her Heart could connect with Sora.”

Saïx turned his head toward him.

“So… I will bring her to the fight.”

He was annoyed because Lea couldn’t remember her and risked to hurt her. And if it happened, Lea wouldn’t forgive himself. But he will make sure this wouldn’t happen. He didn’t plan to let Lea be sad. Soon, he will be reunited with Roxas and Xion. And he will be happy…

What could he hope more than this?

  The day of the big battle arrived.

Too soon.

Saïx knew that Vexen had brought a Replica for Roxas. He knew that Demyx was in a safe place. He knew Xion will soon be her again… She will be alive.

Everything will be alright.

He just needed…

“Moony?”

Saïx turned his head toward Xigbar who walked toward him.

“What will you do?”

“What do you mean?”

He groaned when he felt Xigbar’s hands on his cheeks. The man was always forced to touch him like that?! It was annoying…

And yet… the gesture was tender.

He always was happy to receive that affection from him.

Wasn’t it the worst that him, who had grown up being alone and avoiding to be touched, he ended up being very close of people who needed to show their affection that way?

“I know for Demyx and I know for the two others… You will leave?”

“Why would I?”

“You will join Lea, right? I wish you my best wishes!”

Saïx shook his head, looking down.

“Why?” Xigbar asked.

“I belong to Xemnas. I’m stained by him and there is nothing for me. No one who could care…”

“I…”

“You will forget me, Xigbar.  I knew this was what will happen to me months ago… I suppose I have to thank you? For having let this time less painful? The day I lost my Heart was the last time I was allowed to have one… I accepted the fact. My Heart is…” Saïx’s fists were shaking. “The only Heart I need is Lea…” he whispered.

“Is that what you want? It’s over?”

Saïx nodded.

“You know you have a chance to come back if you die.”

“I don’t think it will happen.”

Xigbar pressed his hands over his cheeks and leaned to press his forehead against him.

“Then, I will hope for two…” he whispered.

  “See you, Isa…”

Hope…

They all talked about hope. Saïx never had this hope. He just had will. Will to pursue. Will to fix things… Will to make Lea happy…

From the beginning, it always had been what he wanted. The very beginning. The first day he saw him, at the window of his house. The day when his Heart met the only one…

Hope seemed so dull. So vain…

Why would he hope?

He didn’t believe there was a right place to die and yet… he was dying in the best place in the World… In the warm and soft embrace of the one he loved. The man who will be surrounded with those he loved, finally…

Lea would be happy.

Why having hope when his sole purpose in life was finally fulfilled.

Lea would be happy…

But… the green eyes were filled with tears. He hated see them like that… He regretted the old spell, the upside-down tears.

He didn’t want Lea to be sad.

He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to be somewhere else than in Lea’s arms. It wasn’t fair… He wanted to be there to see him happy. He wanted to wake up every morning next to him and to kiss his face. He wanted to hear his voice.

He didn’t want to leave him alone.

Roxas and Xion could really fill the hole he will create in Lea’s Heart? He wanted to believe it because he was nothing and he wanted Lea happy but those eyes on him were saying something else.

And…

And he didn’t want to leave.

He wanted to come back. He wanted to hope…

He wanted to hope he will come back and see Lea’s smile every day…

“… See you, Lea…”